maybe she's born with it

karl fidgets in his seat at Cheesecake Factory...

He straightens the napkin on his lap and sits up straight.
He looks up a little, daydreaming of something.

I smile. "What are you anticipating?"

He turns to look at me. "How do you know I'm anticipating something? How do you know these things?!"

I laugh. I laugh because I know him more than anyone else. And I know him more than anyone else because I love him.


BTW, he was totally anticipating the arrival of the Tiramisu cake we ordered. ;)

pick a cube

yeah, this was pretty much amazing. Go ahead and try it.

Name: marissa
Date: 8/10/2009
Colorgenics Number: 45107263

---

You have a vivid imagination and this is good. Great inventors, explorers all had inventive, imaginative minds. Your friends and acquaintances may consider you over-imaginative and given to fantasy or day-dreaming. So what ? this is a part of your character and charm.

Being a somewhat gentle, emotional and sensitive person, you are at this time experiencing a considerable amount of tension. What you really need is someone who can be close to you and to listen to what you have to say.

The present situation, not of your making, is forcing you to compromise. You will have to hold back and forgo some of your hopes, dreams and aspirations.

There is considerable amount of stress present in your life at this time and this is perhaps due to some considerable mental and physical frustration. There are various physical needs that are necessary for your well-being but whatever the reasons - mostly of your own making - your needs are not being fulfilled. We wonder why? You are under the impression that nobody seems to care for you. This predicament is most uncomfortable and it is because of this that you are experiencing far more stress than you feel you can cope with. You need to find a soul mate - someone who truly understands you and whose standards are as high as your own. As matters stand you would like to break away from the vicious cycle that you find yourself entrapped but this is easier said than done. You refuse to compromise with your opinions and essentially you are unable to resolve the situation because you are continually postponing the making of the necessary decision. You are stubborn but this should be no deterrent experiencing a happy life.

You feel utterly wretched - worn out. The demands that other people have been making on you have depleted your strength and stamina. You feel powerless to try to remedy the situation on your own and you are looking for what is hopefully known as 'divine intervention'. But be assured your salvation lies in yourself - you have the ability so use it.

FIND YOURSELF.

silly texts

i just wanted a record of these before I deleted them from my phone. =)

r: AHH I'M A HO

n: Ha. Yea. I'm retarded. I grabbed my bag for some reason. It's my ADD. Ha. Get it in like five minutes after I flip a bitch.

f: School is the coldest bitch I've ever known.

f: Have the objects of my heartbreak been collected yet?

c: Hellooooo my favorite roooooomies in the whole wide world.....

c: We neeeeeeeda have a summmer partyyy!

k: Silly billy. its chilly. shop at tillys.

f: Bao vinh and his cousin are talking in french and it sounds so cool!

b: HAHA sure princess =)

f: lol i know! Did u see your note? lol i didn't even know they were here til i peed at like 4. Btw...did u even sleep?!? Your lights were still on!

f: Gimme that job so we can giggle together as we work haha...jk k rest now booo.

f: haha yayyy! see u at home mamacitaaa!

k: i know what you were doing. you were saving it for a date with me.

Okay. BALEEEEEETED!

blast from the past

let me lay out this scenario for you. The Ho goes to a family bbq, where she meets her cousin's friends. She begins to talk to one of these friends and creates a nice friendly bond with him. Through texts, the Ho and this one guy chat up a storm, asking each other random questions and such. It's a simple acquaintance.

I ask about him and find out his name. No clue whatsoever. She tells me his hobbies and where he went to school. I discover he went to college with my own cousin. Peculiar. Heading on to facebook, we try to determine more things about the guy. Private profile. Damn.

A few days later, I ask my own cousin about the guy. And this is how it went down:

m: oh question
i: wats up
m: do you know a ____ ____?
i: yeaaaa remember? U dated him? lol
m: asdgasdrga;sidhf;aksjhgd NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
i: ahahaha well u guys had a thing
m: *&#!#(%*^@%#!
i: remember? like a LITTLE thinggg
m: ok wait wait wait
i: U guys met up at the carnival and s***
m: wow, i TOTALLY forgot about that lol, blast from the f***ing past lol
i: hahaha i know right!!!
m: so tell me, because i honestly don't remember, what happened again? lol
i: hahaha well i think i was like a matchmaker or something cuz he liked me first
m: i remember...
i: but i didn't, so i introduced u guys
m: -_____-
i: and u started talking online and the time u guys met at the carnival for the first timeee
m: the ONLY time lol
i: yeaaaa lol
m: yeah but do u remember what happened after?
i: no, it got awkward? lol and u guys stopped talkin
m: yeah....i don't remember lol, how f***ing hilarious.
i: hehe small world O_O

UGHHHHHHHHHHHH. I must've erased that portion of my life from my memory for some reason.

avada kedavra vs faith

a little thing called faith has kept me going the past few weeks. I'm not quite sure why I've neglected it for quite some time, but when replenished, it truly is something to be in awe of. I lost touch with Him for maybe 2 years and yet, He still pulls through with my prayers. I passed spring quarter better than I expected and it's all because of Him. So PTL for faith. I'm sticking to my religious roots.

On a sillier note, I love Cynthia:
m: Alright, I will see you back at the apartment wifey!
c: Haha, I expect a hot dinner on the table
m: What if I was naked on the kitchen counter with sushi covering my special lady parts? Haha hot enough for ya? lmao
c: Only if it's homemade sushi haha

As for what the summer has blessed me with, it's a painstakingly horrendous amount of organic chemistry. My Tuesdays and Thursdays are free...free to work and earn that cash a broke college student yearns for. My Mondays and Wednesdays are absolutely insane. Chem lecture takes up my morning; chem lab lecture/chem discussion take up my noontime; and chem lab consumes my afternoon in 4 hours. Second session is going to be a pain. Not only will I have even more organic chemistry to deal with, I get to top off the last half of my summer with calculus. Someone, anyone, have your wand at the ready and when I tell you, yell out "Avada Kedavra!" But then again, it's all about the faith. Keep the faith. Go listen to Miley Cyrus' song The Climb. I've actually taken a liking to it. I know! I shock myself too!

In other news, my roommates and I have put a hold on a 2-story townhouse nearby and, to tell you the truth, it's pretty legit. It's actually amazing to think about. I didn't know anyone in my hall the first year of college (with the exception of my childhood friend). And yet, here I am, rooming with some of the coolest people I've met and who I never knew before 2 years ago (with the exception of my high school friend). I get to room (in this case, in the same room) with someone who I met during the first and foremost crucial days of college life. Not to mention rooming (in this case, in the same residence) with a silly person from high school, a person of whom I have yet to truly get to know (although I do know she enjoys the same passion of Urban Outfitters as I do), and probably the smartest person I've met these past few years (we're talking about 4.0, straight A PLUSES, yeah, PLUSES). Just looking back, it's all pretty much "mind-bottling."

Speaking of the past and reminiscing on old memories, starting in approximately 2 months (beginning when I move in to the new abode), I will be packing up and moving my thoughts and hopefully my more artistic self to a new blog. Indeed. It will be a momentous occasion. I'll be updating more (maybe) and throwing some pictures, videos, quotes, polaroids, recipes, lyrics, songs and poems at you. So we'll see how that goes. So I guess I'll be summing up what this blog meant to me and how it has given me something to hold on to within the next few weeks or so. I hope, it's my only wish really, that you've enjoyed or have gotten something out of what you've read here. If not...bummer.

kix and karl

over the past few days, I felt rather empty; empty in the sense that stuff has been pretty much monotonous and predictable. However, just recently, it has occurred to me that it is the simple pleasures in life that have kept me sane. I told myself a long time ago that I appreciated these simple things and yet, I have forgotten about them until now.

I walked into the kitchen this morning and rummaged through our desert of a kitchen and found a cereal box of Kix. I used to think that Lucky Charms and Cocoa Pebbles, even Froot Loops, were the best cereals out there but I realized all of them were sugar-filled and contained some sort of wacky color. And then there's Kix. To tell you the truth, it wasn't something I would jump for in the cereal aisle at the grocery store. But today, it looked rather appealling. I took it down from on top of the fridge and poured myself a bowl accompanied with some milk. Boy, was that tasty. It was this simple experience that I thoroughly enjoyed that made me recognize how much I was missing if I spent my life focusing on things I've already tried. Kix was absolutely delcious. It's my new favorite.

And then there's Karl. Honestly, there wasn't much to appreciate other than the fact of his birth at the end of May. Hah. Our relationship has been somewhat steady and what we have felt right. I was having a deep and meaningful conversation with my roommate and we came to the conclusion that our boyfriends are actually very good men. They're good men to us, even if we may not see it. I closed my eyes tonight and realized that Karl has been a better boyfriend than most of the couples I've seen and met. He takes care of me and protects me, pays for me, and doesn't let me down. And I appreciate all of it, all of him. But above all, I love his patience to deal with my girlish tendencies. He makes me feel so special.

That's why my roommate and I are planning a small "appreciation" gift for our boyfriends. Stuff in the mix include homemade candlelit dinner and naming a star after them. Either way, I love you and I always will. <3

hopeless romantic

upon looking up cute things to wear to the park, I came across this:

Sweet Romantic Things to Do for Your Sweetheart
By Kathryn D'Imperio

1. Leave little love notes or piles of candy when you visit each other. Stash them away where your honey will be sure to find them, whether in the car, under his/her pillow or in a travel bag.

2. Call just because you are thinking of him or her, leave a cute message in the voicemail or send a text message with a sweet or seductive meaning. If you prefer to leave a message as opposed to talking, call when you know he or she is unavailable so a little something sweet is waiting upon return to the cell phone, home or office.

3. Send an email, or better yet, get old-fashioned and send a letter or a card through the mail to express your love. After all, who doesn't love getting mail (well, except for bills!) as a surprise?

4. When you are getting together for an evening or even for just a few minutes, pick up his or her favorite treat or snack, a specialty coffee or dessert as a sweet surprise. If you are going to rent a movie or spend some quiet time at home, get a few snacks to enjoy with a flick or some television.

5. Speaking of renting movies, surprise your sweetheart with a movie you pick out that you know he or she would really enjoy. I often have a difficult time making up my mind about which movie to rent, so it would definitely be a huge but much appreciated step if I brought one over that I knew he would like.

6. You know those sweet things you think of when you are together or just thinking about your honey? Well, next time a thought pops in your mind, voice it! Girls especially love to know what wonderful things go on in the inner workings of their guys minds, so chances are, guys may also enjoy a few catch phrases.

7. When you spend time together, help each other out with chores to free up more time to spend together. Sometimes lending a hand can even be fun when you are both working together.

8. Swap massages, or simply give your partner a massage if you get the idea that he or she has had a long day. Foot massages and back rubs can do wonders for relaxing people and alleviating stress. Many males seem to enjoy having their backs gently scratched or rubbed softly as a means of helping them to relax.

9. Bring home take-out from a favorite dining establishment after a long day so the two of you can enjoy some food in the comfort of your own home. It isn't quite as romantic as cooking it yourself, but it is definitely a nice gesture.

10. Pick wildflowers or give a single rose or carnation for no reason. I even found a four-leaf clover once to give to my sweetheart.

12. Do something you may not want to, simply because it is important to him or her. This can be anything from attending a show or an event to doing a chore, giving up a bad habit or just trying something new. Find out what is important to him or her if you don't already know, and make it happen.

13. Spend time with his or her family. The seriousness of a relationship can sometimes be gauged by how one interacts with his or her partners family. Spending time at your honey's family's home can also serve to strengthen your relationship.

14. Spend extra time getting ready; dress up or wear something that you know your sweetheart loves to see on you.

15. Snuggle up and take a nap together. There is nothing quite like falling asleep and waking up in the arms of the one you love.

16. Play romantic music and dance together. Slowly dancing around the room to a favorite song can mean so much more when it is completely unexpected.

17. Go on a picnic! Gather your favorite foods, drinks and desserts, a comfortable blanket and some utensils, plates, cups and napkins and head out for the park on a beautiful day. Go for a walk in the park while you are there and enjoy all of the nature around you.

18. Carry his or her photo in your wallet. Keep your sweetie present at all times by putting a photo of him/her or the two of you together in your wallet, at work, in your car or wherever you think you would most like to see it.

19. Find and make recipes you enjoy together!

20. Share your daydreams. Whatever makes your heart soar at thoughts of the future, consider sharing those ideas with your special one. Daydreaming together can be a very romantic and emotional experience, whether it is fully in jest or in a degree of serious contemplation.

21. Spray a little bit of your perfume or cologne on his or her pillow. You will be on each others' minds to begin with, but the lingering scent after you have gone separate ways for the night will bring sweeter dreams than usual.

22. Bring your sweetheart to visit places you came to know and love in your childhood. Parks, playgrounds, the zoo, pumpkin patches, museums, amusement parks, beaches, boardwalks and any other attractions that you enjoyed as a child can bring back happy memories to share with your significant other.

<3
Am I a hopeless romantic or what?

PS. It's my boo's birthday tomorrow! =)

hell week

these next few days/weeks are going to be a major pain in me arse. Here's hopin' for the best. I'm serious.

- AfAm readings *FAILURE
- talk to a counselor *MAYBE NOT
- fall registration *DONE
- making monies *IN PROCESS
- baking cookies *EXTREMELY HARD
- do laundry *I NEED $5
- philosophy questions
- psych readings
- participate in AfAm discussion
- find a legit bakery *CHECK
- thank Christopher for the gajillionth time
- zomgwtfbbq
- see Karl drift @ HTF?
- STUDY FOR FINALS
- save money *EPIC FAIL

It's going to be hard to enjoy life while school is still in session. Then I get a week off. Then it's off to study organic chemistry at its best. Then second day of summer school = THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH CONAN O'BRIEN. That should be a little breather.

riled up

fanboys...and fangirls.

j: rogue leader
m: first of all, i'm not ten. nor am i that ugly lol
j: hahhahahah
j: loll
j: trekkie
m: what's that supposed to mean
j: it's a derogatory word
m: are you calling me a trekkie
j: yes, yes i am
m: and what are you
j: i'm the one with the force
m: PFFFT you are the furthest thing from "the one with the force"
j: oh yea?
m: i'm not the one who bought la forge's sunglasses
m: IN YOUR FACE
m: and who the f*ck brings a lightsaber to a star trek movie
j: it was on my face
m: you might as well get out of the theater
j: hahahaha
j: i was using the force on all the viewers
m: so don't be trekkie me
m: because you have conflicting ideologies
j: wow you really are taking this seriously huh
j: hahahahaha lol omg
m: -_______-
m: i'm proving a point
j: and i was just talking about the movie
j: hoping you'd respond to it
m: well i'm sorry but i got real riled up for that one
j: hahahhahahah
j: i like your passion
m: good. because my heart was pumped for that one.

ps. 5 things done from the grocery list.

remedy for rage

shopping. I bet you saw that one coming.

I just need to get away. At least window shop. Maybe get started on my grocery list. Take my mind off things. Then get started on homework and studying for finals. Woot.

_edit.

So, surprisingly, I didn't make any large purchases (as opposed to Frances). Hit up Nordstrom for some MAC, bought a raunchy bra at VS, exchanged a ring for a hoodie at UO, and scored some earrings at XXI. Not too shabby. Frances, on the other hand, bought four new outfits at XXI, which I'm borrowing in the near future. The very near future. My future room-roomie has got style.

animosity in a venti please

ugh. Sometimes I just really hate some people. There may be times when I dislike characteristics of the person, but at times, it comes to the point where I just really don't like you. At all. You're pretty much spam to me (She's All That reference). I'm not some person you go to conceal your secretive plans. I'm freaking sick of it. Here's a thought: why don't you just tell everyone where you're really going and save MYself the trouble of having me think about inching closer to my phone to call the "authorities." Yeah, I understand that they're all strict and what not, but it's not a reason for you to put this burden upon others, especially me. Do you ever wonder why they're so strict? HMMMM. Maybe because they have a CLEAR idea of what the hell you do and why you dress the way you do or pile on the make-up. I don't want to be your getaway. One of these days, you're going to get caught. And honestly, I can't wait for that moment. You may think that it's all good and I know that you won't get me in trouble, but HELLO. It's all about YOU YOU YOU. Learn a little respect and maybe be more concerned with other people and how you treat them. Think about what they're feeling for once. I hate taking care of you during these times because these are the times when you need to seriously grow up.

I'm cross with you. Yeah, I'm pretty pissed.

VENTI SIZED.

grocery list

here are a few minor goals I hope to achieve within the coming days:

- boy meets girl rouched tunic
- rapscallion by samantha pleet denim romper
- kimchi blue cinema swimsuit
- jeffrey campbell crosshatch platform
- get my nails done
- maybe a trim of some split-ends
- baby blue comfy ass sweater
- mac slimshine lipstick
- lash blast
- develop 120 film
- honey nut cheerios
- eggs
- salmon for frances
- special ingredients for a special project for a special someone

Yeah...I don't think my next paycheck is going to cover all of this.

live long and prosper

conan o'brien, you are my bitch lover. I get the pleasure of being in his presence at the end of June. Excited? Oui. What to wear, what to wear, what to wear?! TV show tapings are just plain awesome.

Life has treated me well as of late: an expected A on my philosophy midterm; a surprising A on my afam midterm; good hair days; free merch credit for some new clothing; happy run-ins with old co-workers; Star Trek in IMAX; passionfruit green tea runs; quality time with the boyfriend; no more overdraft fees; newfound gratitude for old never-really-worn clothes; etc.

There have been a few bumps in the road like the occasional person who has been getting on my nerves. It's like having another one of those. ARGH. But no worries, hopefully the lock on my door will keep people away. But then again, maybe it's the fresh air I need.

France-Ass and I are thinking about getting bunk beds next year. Chewy on the bottom bunk!

So after that whole KFC craze (had free meals for two days straight), I'm turning back to pescatarianism to totally pwn our bet. And to make matters better, I have been working out with one of my roommates, so thank goodness for that motivation. Lunges are a real pain.

Summer is almost here. Can you smell that? That's the smell of two 5-week sessions of organic chemistry for me. Tasty. Not to mention the accompanying labs and a calculus class. God help me.

ps. As soon as I get my next paycheck, or maybe my next next paycheck, I will develop my 120 film. I really want to see how they turned out. Too bad I can't find any color 120 film. =(

dear deborah

i feel as if I have no way to contact you other than here. Well, there's facebook, indeed, but how impersonal it would be to leave a wall post. Rather, I am determined to make my sentiments known here. =) Seeing as how you've stayed a devoted trivial teenager reader.

In regards to you missing your piano:
I've actually been spending some quality time with the piano back home lately. I've been home for like three weekends straight. I think my parents are probably annoyed of me by now. (Or not.) BUT, nevertheless, I missed the piano. I'm basically the only one playing with it now. And I am in SOME SERIOUS need for new sheet music. I am still on the lookout for the Amelie sheet music.

In regards to you watching Gilmore Girls:
ZOMG. I don't know what I was doing when this show first appeared on the WB. Where was I?! Probably watching something lame like Zaboomafoo. ARGH. But I must admit, catching up on the seasons of this show over and over again is just a pleasant way to get away from life. I'm pretty much in love with Jess. I was never really a fan of Dean or Logan. But you know what, after watching how Logan and Rory got together, I'm starting to like him even more. But Jess will pwn as usual. I'm just sayin', Logan isn't so bad. :)

In regards to your encouragement for a new me:
Thanks, babe. I hope I can. Maybe I'll talk to you and the Villena elder about my academic struggles sometime. =/ It's getting pretty bad. Let's just say I'm going to be disappointing the parentals because I'm FOR SURE switching majors. I'm scared they'll wring my neck or probably send me to the guillotine. No, maybe a firing squad. Or maybe a major wet willy. Any of those would be truly frightening.

In regards to my newfound passion for pescatarianism:
Indeed, it truly is rewarding, I must say. I was thinking about vegetarianism but I really don't think I can do it. LOL You don't understand, after a week, I was craving a steak bowl at Chipotle. But, please do send me those recipes! I would LOVE to try them out! I feel like I will never develop a passion for tofu, it's just not in the stars for me. And when you said "vegan 'meats'," I basically melted, I would love to know more about that. Not because it's "meat," but because, well, just ask Villena de Mayor how much I love my food. <3

Horribly broke and pretty hungry,
VANILLA.

a new me

i've thrown away all indiscretions. I think it's time to really step up the game. It's time for a change. I've taken college for granted a little too much. Heck, A LOT too much. Starting now, it's all going to change. Wish me luck.

Otherwise... X.X

And that's not a good thing.

on a roll

three posts within a few minutes. I don't know, I've just had a lot on my mind. To further complicate things, or not, last night I had a dream.

I was at Albertson's and I was in the wine/alcohol aisle. I was just strolling around, and I picked up a rack of Tecate Light. (WTF.) I headed over to the self-checkout machine and paid for it using my card. The screen showed a print-out of my receipt, which I noticed was pretty darn long. Didn't pay attention to it and decided to accept. The guy who was supposed to check my receipt didn't even bother to look at ID or anything. As I left and got back to my apartment, I looked at the receipt and it was about pages long. It straight up said that I was to attend a court hearing for the purchase of alcohol under the legal age. O.O I was FUH-REA-KING out. I even woke up freaking out because I KNOW that I went to Albertson's yesterday just to buy some fish (btw, I'm turning to pescatarianism, going on 6 days without meat, yay me) and salad. I wasn't sure if I subconsciously bought some Mexican beer on the way out.

It was somewhat of a nightmare.

But no worries, 2009 will be the year.

This year, I can legally buy and consume alcoholic beverages, fearlessly walk down the liquor aisle, and I don't know, go to VEGAS. Rent a hotel room. Go to a 21+ club. Whatevs.

the alcocer anecdotes 12

mini post. It's been sitting in my notepad on my phone for ages.

Episode 12: Shrooms

m: how's life
d: amazing, u?
m: spectacular
d: why did u one-up me?
m: because those mushrooms are the best kind.
d: -_-

a slap to the face

reality bites. I've been pretty much living in my own little world and I didn't realize I had it so good until now.

Lately, I've been feeling rather overwhelmed with so much. I won't go into detail, but my heart has been feeling rather stressed out as of late. I ache...

I think the two things I need right now are independence and determination. Everything else should be the least of my worries.

Oh. And more work days. -__-

the alcocer anecdotes 11

his take on our fellow furry friend...

Episode 11: The Easter Bunny

d: <_<
m: hiii
m: happy easter
d: merry easter [=
m: what's up
d: oh nothin
d: havin a bit of a downer day
d: but i plan to rebound quickly come tomorrow
d: how about u
m: why?
m: it's easter!
d: lame stuff haha
d: easter is a very odd holiday
m: are you catholic/christian?
d: not particularly
m: what does that mean lol
d: i "believe" in certain things that I have picked up from those religions
m: ohhh roight
d: lol
m: well don't be down
m: the easter bunny will come and visit you lol
d: if the easter bunny came and visited me
d: i'd punch it straight in the chest
d: haha jk =p
m: BUMMER.
d: exactly
m: I think that's what I'd say if I was in a bunny costume and someone socked me in the chest. Then I'd fall on my knees, then on my face.
d: LOLOLOL
d: omg as I read that, I pictured it all happen...Thank you. That gave me a great laugh lol
m: =)
d: (:

love utopia

is it weird to want a love like Lorelai and Luke's? =) Is it weird to get butterflies in your tummy whenever you watch the sweet side of Jess' love for Rory?

Hi, I'm Marissa and I'm a Gilmore Girls addict. Forever.

I swear, I will never get tired of this show. I pretty much devote an hour of my life each weekday in order to witness the small town life of Stars Hollow. It's my utopia.