light graffiti

bored on a Thursday night? Here's what Alison and I did to escape the wee hours of the night:

case file 02

week 2 of lenten diet: FAIL. Well, at least just for one weekend. I mean, give a girl a break, she can't go to Medieval Times without eating a huge chicken and some spare ribs. Feasting on such foods for my one year anniversary made me rethink it all, at least for this past weekend. But I'm back on track, no worries, don't get your knickers in a bun.

I'm so in love and I'm at an all-time high. How did I get here? It's amazing. He's got me tripping over my own feet.

But then again, I do that most of the time.

Ho and I might get hired at the same place. I don't know about you, but that excites me. Do you realize the fun we will have together? I'm ecstatic. I really hope we do get hired. The money from my bank account is gradually dwindling and the only thing I can think of is becoming a stripper (just because I hear they make quite the amount of money) or getting a job.

I'll take the latter, thank you.

BTW, while we're on the topic of strippers...goodness gracious. I can see what all the hype is. The stripper they hired was hot. Then I look at myself and self-scrutinize. It kind of sucks sometimes. Sigh. Oh, strippers. I'm pretty much jealous. But I must stop. It's not the pragmatic thing to do. Thank the Lord no one could take pictures of her. It was intense. I'd feel very uncomfortable the next morning knowing that people would totally oogle her goodies with pictures and reminiscing moments of her ... performance. EEP.

buzz lightyear

technically, a lightyear is a unit of measure to describe stellar distances, or if you choose to be more precise, 5.88 trillion miles (and yes, that's straight off of dictionary.com).

But, it also means a very long time. It's been one full year (and a day now) that I have met and have been with one of the coolest cats in town. I don't know, it's somewhat of a big accomplishment for me. Actually, for him as well. The time's were a rockin' but we pulled through. So three cheers for us.

I love you.
Yay us!

the lenten diet

deciding to cut meat and soda from my daily dosage of food consumption is a rather strenuous, and formidable, task if I may say so myself. I've only successfully completed it once, and my other attempts weren't so properous. But, I think it's something I could do for God for forty days in a year.

So far, Week 1 of no meat-eating or soda-drinking has been going well. It's been all about pastas or vegetable lo mein for me. Some salad and some passionfruit juice. Fruits and cherry jello (which is nasty actually, tastes like medicine). Freaking meat and and soda actually put a toll on my health actually. But once I gave it up, that's when food in the cafeteria started becoming good. Honey bbq chicken? Teriyaki stir fry? Swiss bacon burger? Thanks a crapload. As if the Pepsi dispenser isn't enough temptation...

At least I didn't give up ice cream or yogurt. I seriously would not be able to go on.

Hello clam chowder.

And menus with the "*vegetarian" next to them.

changing like seasons

what happened to me?

I used to be so cool.

I think it's the hair.

I'm never cutting it again.

No, thank you.

correctly accused

how am I supposed to react? I can't help being a girl about things. But then again, there are some girls out there who don't really give a damn. Yeahhhh...that's not me at all. Why is it so difficult to change? Is it because changing who I am doesn't make me who I truly am? What a concept. I was born to be something, raised to be someone, and now it seems like none of that really matters anymore. Life doesn't make sense; no, rather, my life doesn't make any sense to me. I can't just give up who I am. That, my friends, will take the greatest deal of effort I have ever needed.

BUT.

I'll try. I try. I'm trying. You don't know how hard I'm trying.

Trying to break free.
Trying to see what it all means.
Trying to not be how I was raised.
Trying to find myself.
Trying to be not as spastic.
Trying to be happy.
Trying to be a new me.

It's as if everything, everyone, around me is changing and I can't keep up.
I'm entering (I haven't even entered) the game so late.

But right now, all I need is

faith&confidence.

Two things I don't have.