correctly accused

how am I supposed to react? I can't help being a girl about things. But then again, there are some girls out there who don't really give a damn. Yeahhhh...that's not me at all. Why is it so difficult to change? Is it because changing who I am doesn't make me who I truly am? What a concept. I was born to be something, raised to be someone, and now it seems like none of that really matters anymore. Life doesn't make sense; no, rather, my life doesn't make any sense to me. I can't just give up who I am. That, my friends, will take the greatest deal of effort I have ever needed.

BUT.

I'll try. I try. I'm trying. You don't know how hard I'm trying.

Trying to break free.
Trying to see what it all means.
Trying to not be how I was raised.
Trying to find myself.
Trying to be not as spastic.
Trying to be happy.
Trying to be a new me.

It's as if everything, everyone, around me is changing and I can't keep up.
I'm entering (I haven't even entered) the game so late.

But right now, all I need is

faith&confidence.

Two things I don't have.