the alcocer anecdotes 05

is there a time when this guy is not entertaining? I think not.

Episode 4: Michelin Tires and Samurai Katanas

d: if I was about to die and you only had time to say three words to me, what would they be?
m: you were awesome. lol
d: lol i WAS? =(
m: well ur gonna die lol
d: aw man, how depressing, thanks a lot =/
m: YOU'RE the depressing one! what an awful question to ask
d: why am I depressing?!?! =[
d: ok i'll reverse this shit, I was JUST born, what three words do you say to me
m: nice chubby baby. lol
d: asfkl u suck, I'm not chubby =[
m: oh, well I was
d: fatty, lose some weight ^-^
m: my parents nicknamed me michelin
d: lol how cute, but ur not white <.<
m: but I had rolls, everywhere. on my arms, my legs
d: send pix imo, so i can laugh at ur existence, then blackmail you
d: i was very well-behaved supposedly
m: that's good, you WOULD -_-
d: YOU would =/
d: it makes sense tho, cuz it's all about balance
d: as i get older, i become more evil and badass
m: ah, the innocence fades...
d: pretty soon ur gonna see me walking the streets in a samurai outfit with a 5 foot blade katana
m: oooh those ARE badass
d: i will cut anyone who comes within 5 feet of me
d: do you want to be my trusty sidekick
d: you don't have to wear tights or anything
d: ...unless ur into that sorta thing
m: and what will I carry around?
d: a box of rats, and u will throw rats at people
d: how about a staff
m: oooh what about a wand
d: what the hell are you gonna do with a wand
d: speak in latin to people?
m: ur wand from ur wizarding/mage past
d: who said i had a wand?
d: i just threw fireballs at people, which may have just been fireworks i lit on fire
m: oh, I streotyped. fireballs are a diff story

6 degrees

have you ever played 6 degrees of separation? Well, I have reason to say that I will soon be related to some celebrities. WOOT. Not one, but TWO celebrities. WOOT WOOT.

1. So there's my dad. My own flesh and blood. He's a dope guy. Cleans up pollution, saves the world. His company came up with carpool lanes. So yeah, he's a pretty awesome dude. He tells some of the corniest jokes, but that's why I love him. He also is in two bands and has gigs. What a rock star. Plays basketball. He really is Super Dad.

2. My dad's sister is a silly bean. She's like the funny aunt who loves to shop for designer stuff. She gives some bomb Christmas presents. Haha. She also laughs like there's no tomorrow. It's a good feeling, hearing her laugh. It brings a lot of joy to any situation.

3. One of her daughters is a complete artist. She started off painting crazy stuff (I really want her to paint me something). She has like a full-on wall-sized painting of herself. It's awesome. It's so artsy, and it sums up who she is. Then she started working at Nordstrom as a make-up artist. Not only that, she then started working for Versace. So yeah, she's as cool as it gets.

4. Her boyfriend of many years just proposed to her a few days ago. I met him and he really is a cool guy. A cool guy for a cool girl. They've been living together for like years now. Up north. Sigh, I want to live up north. Something different.

5. His first cousin, you may have heard of him, is Jesse James. THE Jesse James. Well, there's two Jesse James'. There's a western film star named Jesse James. (Brad Pitt did an entire movie about him.) And then there's host of Monster Garage Jesse James. He's covered in tattoo and is a complete hunk. Haha. Turns out, Monster Garage JJ is a "direct linear descendant of the famed outlaw." Rad.

6. Jesse James' wife is pretty famous as well. Her name is known as Sandra Bullock. She's the star of Miss Congeniality, she was in Speed, the Lake House was a cute movie--oh she's just completely fabulous. I pretty much grew up watching her movies, especially stuff like While You Were Sleeping. And I seriously think I learned to snort during laughter from her. She's a wise one, that Sandra. I wonder if they'll be at the wedding. Haha. Most likely, I reckon.

Soooo...I guess I'll be somewhat related to three celebs. Jesse James, Jesse James, and Sandra Bullock. What a cool thing. Sigh...and now I'm in charge of making up games for the bridal shower. What to do, what to do...

you are a god, mr. sparks

nicholas Sparks, that is.

I came to the recent realization that it has been many moons ago since I've seen The Notebook or A Walk to Remember. So being the carefree person that I am, I decided to watch both of them. Right after each other. Now usually, this would be for some slumber party or some girly outing, but I'm not quite sure if it's healthy to have two sobfests all in one night within the time span of 4 hours. It's as if Mr. Sparks grabs this metaphorical bow and shoots an emotional arrow into my heart. I give him some serious major kudos to that literary romantic novelist. And although I may have tears in my eyes and will most likely have a semi-damp pillow to sleep on tonight, it just goes to show that these kind of things make me so feeble in my state. Speaking of which, I'm also not sure if it's healthy to picture all of these romantic spectacles and creating this perfect microcosm of how a relationship should be. I mean, sure, I want a star named after me. I want a temporary butterfly tattoo stamped on the back of my shoulder blade. I want to be taken on a boat ride into a lake full of swans. C'mon, what girl wouldn't?

Ugh, I can be such a girl sometimes.

Hello, my name is Vanilla, and I'm a hopeless romantic.

the sidekick stories 05

chemistry isn't exactly my forte; photography from a cell phone, however, is another story. While summer school has been kicking me in the arse as of late, I'd like to take a quick moment to divulge in the recent photographs I have come across (okay, so I took them) of the days that make my life, well, mine. Shall we take a visual stroll? Let's hold hands.

First of all, I'd like to introduce you to one of my greatest friends, Risha. She's a bit of an academics-freak, but I suppose that why everyone loves her so damn much. (Psst, come here. It's actually because she's just a silly girl who makes silly comments who listens to silly music and makes me feel silly.)

This is Risha. She's trying to find her new apartment.

This is her new apartment building.
She was really sad when she found out she was living on the top floor.

ps.

I found my own building.

Risha has a tendency to park far from the speaker at a drive-thru.
So she has to lean out. And shout at the speaker.
At this particular occasion, the lady just flat out told her:
"Okay miss, you need to stop yelling."

This is the after effect of late-night studying and lack of coffee.
Or maybe just my superior driving skills.

She woke up though...
when we started to stalk this SUV...
full of hot, topless, white, surfer guys.

Speaking of things I notice while on the freeway...
look, an overturned car.

On a more humorous note,
this is the solution to my fasha's lack of a bluetooth
(due to the new handless phone set law)
and his excess velcro pieces.

The new Chick-fil-A is open.
What's that?
A bird? A plane?
NO!
It's a dancing cow holding a sign.

In other news, Robeks is trying something new.
Well, not really new.
But new to Robeks.
YOGURT!
WITH TOPPINGS!
Check out the new counter.

My brother came home from Google.
He googles everything.
That googler.

And finally...
this is the photo I show people
when they tell me I'm stupid.

I just think they mistake my awesomeness for the exact opposite. Oh well. Who gives a hoot. Alcocer wanted me to really buy it.

on a swing

life is absolutely at its peak when you're on one, no matter what your age, your situation, or your gender.

Lately, my family has been heading over to the park and taking a nice night stroll after dinner. I haven't been to the park in a while, but just being there overwhelmed me with a sense of tranquility and serenity. I used to go to the park a lot when I was a kid, whether it be for birthday parties or just to satisfy the urge to go on a slide. But reality started and I was thrust into life as we know it--chaos, confusion, work--before I knew it, I wasn't a kid anymore.

I stepped onto the playground at the park a few days ago and I just breathed the whole sight in. It was night time so there weren't many people there. And it's quite sad really, to know that there aren't a lot of people who enjoy the park anymore. Everybody is usually so caught up in the real world. But what I realized is that the playground, or the park, actually is reality. It's the reality that we turned our backs on at so young an age. It's the innocence we left behind.

Strolling over to the swing set, I wasn't expecting much. But once I got on and started moving, everything, the world as I knew it, changed. It somehow made everything better. Facing the trees rather than the playground itself, I found that the sky was a beautiful array of colors. The orange street lights were surrounded by a pink glow, and that pink glow was followed by a lavender that calmed the senses. After the lavender, a deep violet that cascaded the sky, and then a navy blue that summed up the entirety of the night. To top it off, stars sprinkled the sky in little increments for aesthetics. Every single time I swung forward, that scene put my mind, and my life, at ease. The late night breeze engulfed my entire body as I swung to and fro like a pendulum; my hair blowing in the wind. It was easy to forget the pains and fatigue of the world.

Plus, I would love to be kissed on a swing. Now that would be perfect. =)

So thank you, park-restorer or maker.
I applaud you.
Thanks for snapping me back to reality.
The one I used to know.