the sidekick stories 01

here's a summary of a few days in a few pictures.

Bowie at work. Every Tuesday and Thursday.

There is Bowie's dimple.

Ugh. Bowie's feet. Spot Alison!

My sleeping partner.

The awesome purple beach house.

My latest craving.

A meal at McDonald's in Mammoth with tasty iced coffee.

Outside, there was no snow.

That changed after a few minutes.

I started camera whoring in the snow.

Then my mom revealed her silly Cookie Monster socks.

My cousin spilled fruit salad on me.

But my other cousin thought it was nasty.

The snow on the car.

I'm not sure why I took a picture of this.

The icy road up to Mammoth Mountain.

I didn't get to snowboard, but it was more camera whoring for me.

Coach outlet. $30 contact lens case.

Cousin and I.

An aisle of stuffed animals.

This reminds me of Lamb Chop.

And this reminds me of Juliet.

The back window was blockaded with snow.

My home for those few days.

Our neighbors' cars.

Snow-covered trees.

The cute boy I saw at Target.

On our way out.

The snow-covered mountain I could have been boarding on.

Straight out of a Hallmark card.

Trees outside our window.

Gargantuan A1 steak sauce bottle at Karl's house.

Walking back to my dorm: which one doesn't belong?

thursday blues

and to think the day couldn't get any worse.

I started off today with 2-3 hours of sleep. Now, I don't know about you guys, but most of the time, when I have some sort of deprivation of sleep, I'm in a pretty crappy state of mind the rest of the day. So that's how I woke up. I woke up to the sound of bustling college students, gathering together into the lecture hall, awaiting the curious anticipation of determining the use of chemistry formulas and balancing and equations. My chemistry midterm, folks, was not for the faint of heart. 26 multiple choice questions doesn't seem that bad over a time span of 75 minutes. But I would say a good 90% of the class was still in the lecture hall: squirming in their seats, trying to get every ounce of information they could squeeze out from their chemistry oceanic brains, using up every possible second they could from those 75 minutes. That was not a fun exam at all.

I dragged my feet back to my dorm after the whole Chemistry Massacre and my roommate and I compared answers. I was surprised to discover we had most of the same answers. That put a little weight off my shoulders from the gargantuan of a burden I had today. But it wasn't until my decision to do one load of laundry that this choice brought my day down once more. My purple sweater. My purple sweater totally fucked with my one load of laundry. Of all the days to be less cautious about what I put in a load of laundry, darks, lights, woolens, whatever, today just had to be the day that my purple sweater decided to spread some of its awesome purple dye onto my other articles of light clothing. My crystal clean white AVA shirt now is a light purple tye-dyed miracle. It's pretty cool, but I'd much prefer it to be radiant white. White like Johnny Depp's character Willy Wonka in the remake of the movie. That's how beautifully and blindingly white it was.

I thought things were going pretty well after that, after I had accepted the fates of some of my most precious light colored tees, now dipped in a vat of light purple dye. Sigh. I was getting so close to the end of the day...when I unknowingly dig myself into an even bigger hole. I text my PD (pledge dad) asking whether I have to pay for my date for installs or if he is accounted for in the $20 dinner fee. But I get a text back saying I can't even bring my own date, that my date either has to be a bro of the fraternity or go stag. Once my retinas hit this horrific sight of a text, I hid behind my pillow and started to cry. Really bad. I've been going through so much stress lately and it may be due to the fact of my pre-menstrual cramps (which all of you love to hear about), but it's my boyfriend's birthday. I mean, c'mon. That's just unfair. Unfair to me, unfair to us, but mostly unfair to him. It's like I can't go anywhere without hurting someone.

And I can't help thinking that today was just a day full of disasters. I don't know, maybe I just needed a stranger to show me the way, cast away my problems (and no, I will not answer my problems with alcohol -__-), to help me find the strength to pick myself back up again. I'll talk to God tonight. That sounds like a good plan.

"We'll figure out something..." -Thanks baby. I love you.

I topped off my night with telling the incessant screaming giddy girls outside of my dorm to please keep it down (not my first choice of words, if I might add) and a shut of the door. Cherry and whipped cream, my friends.

refusal to grow

whenever I hear stories about college kids hitting up the party scene or drinking 'til their hearts desire, it gets me thinking. Why do teenagers like us want to grow up so quickly? Why must we have a certain percentage of alcohol in our bloodstream in order for us to have fun? Why do we need fake IDs to get into clubs? Why would you even want to go to a club anyway? The word "fun" has changed its meaning throughout the years and it hurts to know that people my age would rather engage in activities such as these instead of having "actual" fun.

"Let's go to the beach and have a bonfire." This is easy to say with the phrase: "and bring some alcohol." WHY?? Everything could be as much fun without the alcohol! It all depends on you! It depends on the people you bring! It doesn't depend on what type of alcohol your friend brought in the blue ice cooler over there. No! Make sand castles! Bury your friends in some sand! Go rent a beach cruiser and go biking around the plaza! Get some ice cream at the nearest parlor! Play some fucking beach volleyball for goodness sake! Anything! Minus the alcohol!

I don't understand what the problem with teenagers nowadays. Your teenage years are almost up and once you turn 21, I can bet you a lot of money that you're going to look back on these years and wonder why the hell you took them for granted.

People, c'mon. You're still young. Quit with your "I'm so young, I'm so cool" mumbo jumbo act. You're not the shit. Seriously. You're still a teen. A few years ago, you were a tween. Your breasts weren't fully developed. You had braces. Your acne was outrageously out of control. Your hair was disgustingly untamed.

Have some good clean fun. Go watch a movie with friends. Play laser tag and shoot those mother fluckers to another dimension. Order some pizza. Have a slumber party. Get your nails did. I don't know!

Why are you guys in such a hurry to grow up? It saddens me.

the insanity box

alison and I are seriously about ready to tear off our ears and go nuts over our microfridge. It screams in the middle of the night, in the middle of the morning, in the middle of the freaking afternoon. And it seriously just won't shut up. I have no idea how we have stood it for so long, almost 'til the end of the school year. But goodness gracious, it's like listening to a melancholy man singing a melancholy tune because of his melancholy life and all you want to do is go over there and sock it him in the face. If you ever come and visit to witness this psychotic rectangular box, then be my guest to tell the company we rented it from to go and suck a dick. Alison and I are having hallucinations from deprivation of sleep. We sometimes wake up in the middle of the night just to unplug the darn creature. Serves the melancholy man right.

Other than the fact that our fridge is a complete maniac, things have been going pretty darn swell: free Juice It Up! smoothies as well as pretzels if I ever want a snack in the middle of the day; my philosophy grade owned my gpa (hopefully); I finally had a long-awaited DS rally with my RA and CP of my hall (OWNED IN TETRIS); my DNA fingerprinting presentation went rather smoothly for my forensics class, even though I put everything together an hour before the class started; I have discovered that I would want to be named Raiden (rye-den) instead of Marissa, but then again, I might just have to name my daughter that and be jealous until I die; my calculator watch actually does help me whenever I'm calculating time management with the loads of laundry I have to do; I just went on a very inappropriate shopping spree with money I don't have to buy cute summer dresses and I can blame it all on Francis and Bowie, both of whom are not very good shopping companions when I tell them to restrict me from doing so in the first place; my room is actually getting just a smidgen cleaner by the day; I folded my laundry without Bowie, breaking free from laundry co-dependence issues; I went clubbing for the first time, and I actually just want to forget about that experience because it was the worst experience yet (I don't know why this part is in my list of 'pretty-darn-swell-ness'); and I finally have something to look forward to today.

All in all, pretty darn swell.

addicted to fortune

at Pei Wei Asian Cuisine, I grabbed a handful of fortune cookies. Let's go in depth for each of them, shall we? After all, these are supposedly the words of wisdom that are going to be guiding me for the rest of my life. I'd like to know what's going to be up my alley every once in a while, let alone my future:

1. You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.
Alright. First off, I have three homes. My familial home, then there's my dorm now, and my future home for next year. Seeing as how the word "will" was used, I'm going to assume my future apartment will be my home. Roommates. There's France Ass, Sammy, and a random roommate. Well I'm guessing we'll be cultured, seeing as how we're pretty much a diverse group. Well, except for France Ass and I. I want to say that artist the fortune is referring to is Sammy, because damn, her sense of fashion is absolutely divine. I hope she allows Frances and I to share clothes. Hah.

2. You are open and honest in your philosophy of love.
Psh, I'd like to hope so. I seriously just crack open my heart every single time I write in these blogs. I don't hide the way I feel about certain people, especially my babe. I think maybe even you are sick of me venting about the overflowing love I have for him. Hah. There are times when I feel like I'm being the most foolish person in the world about love, but then again, that's how it's supposed to feel like. Right? I tell Boyfriend everything, especially how I feel about him. I tell my friends what I think on their somewhat interesting situations on love and relationships. I'm not telling people to take the advice I give them, but to simply just bask in it. It's hard, it's complicated; yet, it can be the most simplest thing in the world.

3. You will take a pleasant journey to a place far away.
Ooh, this one sounds very intriguing. Now, what determines how far a place is? I mean, I think Starbucks is pretty far, and it's only a 2 minute drive from my house. But see, for walking distance, it's a completely different thing. So that part of the fortune is a little bit hazy and vague. Now, let's see. A pleasant journey, it says. Oh oh oh! Maybe they're not even talking about a physical destination; but moreover, a mental and emotional one. Oooh, that's sounds delicious. Maybe sometime in the near future, the path to a place I've been wanting to go to will finally come and be a very happy and fun one. That sounds exciting.

4. Your kindness will lead you to happiness.
Alright, this one I can understand from the get-go. I'm a pretty kind girl. I accept everyone for who they are. But there's a major BUT in this picture. You somehow mess up your life or disrespect me in some anonymous way, my whole view of you changes. Sometimes I don't even want to deal with you anymore. You are your own person and I get that, but sometimes, people have just go to step it up a bit. I don't have drama in my life and I haven't had any in years. It's quite refreshing to know. And so far, this fortune has been right on track.

5. We must always have old memories and young hopes.
Now...this is not even a fortune. I don't know why it was stuffed in my fortune cookie when it doesn't really point me in any direction. Are there such things as young memories? Or old hopes? Yes. Young memories include what I just did a minute ago. But then they soon turn into old memories. Then there are the old hopes; dreams and desires that we had long ago. I could have those too. What a confusing fortune. Somebody needs to be more constructive on their feedback 'cause I'm gettin' nothin' from this one.

technical physicalities

there's something about my guy's well-toned back and arms that make my eyes have orgasms. Looking at nicely toned backs, covered with black tees, damn. That makes me go crazy. And the arms. Don't even get me started on arms. His arms are crazy sexy (with the exception of the drifter farmer's tan, hah). I could just grab them forever. Sigh. I'm not sure why I was thinking about this today. So masculine. So beautiful. Things that catch my eye.

This is making me hungry.

above the influence

usually in life, parents say "Why can't you be more like your brother?" But in this case, it's the complete opposite. More like "Please don't be like your brother. You have to be different."

As much as it pleases me to hear that, coming from my parents and all, it's quite strange. I have always considered him as someone to look up to, a role model. And as I've mentioned before, there aren't many of those in my life. My mind has been set to satisfying my parents' expectations with good grades and a fulfilling social life. However, when it comes to one-on-one chats with my pops, I understood what was going on inside the minds of the parental unit. He would explain to me his disappointments and his past and what he thought about certain situations. But, whenever I would try to come up with something witty to say to back you up, I honestly can't. It was easier in the beginning because I got to hear what you had to say. But now...all there is silence. So I can't back you up as much as I could anymore, no matter how hard I try. They want me to be unique, separate from you, and honestly, that's exactly what I'm trying to be. Or at least hoping to be.

On the subject of influences in my life, from the time that I had said that so many role models have been gradually fading away in my eyes, I didn't realize how much lower this one person could get. It pains me to say that I can't really stand it anymore. Are you trying to manipulate me to be some homegirl without a conscience?

Because I will REALITY SLAP you in the face, bitch. So you best be watching.

And for those of you who have actually stuck it out with me, holding my hand, giving me support, in any means possible or for whatever reason, I owe you some kind of hug or something. A special hug that procreates love sprinkles. And peace sprinkles. And money sprinkles so we could go shopping for stuff together.

and here it went

boy problems. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

m (12:29:21 AM): what were you doing in their room

X (12:29:48 AM): ohh well first i went out for a cig break with jerry and simon

m (12:29:53 AM): oh brother

X (12:29:56 AM): and then went back to dnennis room

X (12:30:01 AM): to encrouage them to study

X (12:30:01 AM): haha

X (12:30:10 AM): then to johnnys room cuase he just got back from the used concert

X (12:30:16 AM): so his freinds were still there and we just sat there talking

m (12:30:24 AM): so wait.

m (12:30:41 AM): you had a cig with jerry and...who?

X (12:30:59 AM): david

X (12:31:04 AM): oh shit!

X (12:31:06 AM): HAHHAHAHAHAHAA

m (12:31:07 AM): you wanna scroll up again.

m (12:31:10 AM): UH HUH.

X (12:31:11 AM): ooops

X (12:31:12 AM): HAHHAHAHA

m (12:31:12 AM): BASK IN THAT.

X(12:31:13 AM): shitttt

m (12:31:16 AM): UH HUH

m (12:31:17 AM): UH HUH

X (12:31:19 AM): hahahahhaahhaa

m (12:31:21 AM): UH HUH

X (12:31:34 AM): hahahah wowwww

X (12:31:34 AM): haha

X (12:31:39 AM): oops

m(12:31:44 AM): SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

m (12:32:33 AM): that needs to go somewhere.

tattoo tango

i have yet to receive an answer.

m (1:35:36 AM): btw, where did you get your tattoo done

b (1:36:04 AM): haha

b (1:36:07 AM): serious?

m (1:36:23 AM): yes.

b (1:37:05 AM): thinking of getting one?

m (1:37:38 AM): name and city please

m (1:37:42 AM): thatd be greatttt.

b (1:38:41 AM): question unanswered.

m (1:38:55 AM): ditto.

b (1:39:18 AM): we're at an impasse

m (1:39:35 AM): that we are.

b (1:40:14 AM): so lets try this one more time.

b (1:40:19 AM): thinking of getting one?

m (1:40:31 AM): btw, where did you get your tattoo done

b (1:40:51 AM): ha .alright . 0_o

m (1:41:59 AM): well?

b (1:47:44 AM): thinking of getting one?

m (1:48:00 AM): btw, where did you get your tattoo done

b (1:48:06 AM): thinking of getting one?

m (1:48:24 AM): btw, where did you get your tattoo done

b (1:49:12 AM): thinking of getting one?

m (1:49:24 AM): btw, where did you get your tattoo done

b (1:50:27 AM): hmm? thinking of getting one?

m (1:50:55 AM): so uh where did you get your tattoo done

b (1:51:31 AM): thinking of getting one?

m (1:53:41 AM): btw, where did you get your tattoo done

b (1:54:59 AM): this guy i know .

b (1:55:00 AM): thinking of getting one?

m (1:55:34 AM): idk, where did you get your tattoo done

b (1:56:29 AM): is that like a yes?

m (1:56:55 AM): was that like a name of the place or city?

b (1:57:20 AM): why are you being so difficult?

m (1:59:37 AM): why are you being so contrarious?

We have not yet reached a conclusion. When it is reached, I will post again.
'Til then.
Answer the question.

After a few minutes of incessant bantering...an answer was given. Finally.

m (2:10:27 AM): well, that wasn't so hard, was it.

b (2:11:40 AM): next time dont be difficult.

m (2:11:50 AM): next time dont be contrarious.

rocking roots

it's times like these that I truly appreciate being filipino. Don't get me wrong, the food is amazing and all, but honestly, that's all I've ever really cared about. Hah. On the other hand, we toast in the sun easily, the language is so hard to comprehend for second generation Fil-Ams, and to top it all off, I can't really stand filipino parties (which is ironic being filipino myself). There's just too much going on; everything single thing has to be cared for with an ounce of perfection.

But then again, there's the entertainment and boy, do filipinos know how to rock the party. They can sing, they can dance, after all miss, this is France. It was just until last night that I came to the realization that dancing is actually something I'm good at. I haven't danced in a long ass time (ahem years ahem) and it felt so good just to learn some good choreography. I pick stuff up easily apparently and it just felt amazing.

That's why I have come to the conclusion of joining a dance team next year; whether it be Common Ground, MCIA, or even Kaba Modern (hah, that's a long shot). So wish me luck, and praise the heavens I can dance. Hah.

cranium kisses

just the simple things make my day worthwhile. Holding of the hands, little jokes at the restaurant table, pecks on the forehead. I absolutely adore them all. It has made me realize that I have grown over the past few months. I actually went through transitional phases: from the naive girl who has never had a boyfriend before; to a giddy schoolgirl excited for the little things like how he buys me lunch or how he gives me a little kiss goodbye before class starts; to a chill person who has television sessions on the couch with little boys screaming and running around; to a jealous fiend who seriously, now that I think about it, needs to lay off the Starbucks and skepticism; to a family gal who hangs out with his mom and goes shopping with her; to the silly girl who eats a lot and is now a bonafide heifer; to a happy girlfriend who is actually pretty okay with how her life stands.

We're good. He's amazing. I'm in love.
15 months next week.

fundle bundle

go watch the Take Your Daughter To Work Day episode of the Office season 2.

NOW.

You will understand why. Funniest shit ever.