faggot closet

me: do you have something like this?

him: oh...
him: why yes i do.

me: do you?? =)
him: in my faggot closet.

SIGH.

note to self

it doesn't matter.

Because all you need is love.

Love is all you need.

the wishlist

i want to be chased.

I don't want to be the person who keeps chasing.

I want to be known.

Known as the girl who made your heart smile for the first time.

I want to be adored.

Adored so that every other girl gets jealous of our love.

I want to be remembered.

Remembered as the one who gave everything.

I want to be loved.

Loved to the ends of the earth.

numbers game

me: Hey dad, where is Smart & Final?
dad: It's beside Idiot & Midterm.
me: Thanks, dad.

So, I can finally say I accomplished something over the summer. I finished memorizing a piano piece from Pride & Prejudice. Corny? Yes. Magnificent? Yes. Playing it is so fun nevertheless. Boy, I've missed playing so much. I'm in the works of another one as well; it's getting there. Can I play it flawlessly? Of course not, but damn, my fingers playing on those piano keys are pretty smokin'.

My parents and I watched The Girl with Eight Limbs on the History Channel today. My eyes were seriously glued to the telly. I've read stories about it, seen pictures, but getting to know the true story firsthand was, let me tell you, amazing. If you ever scout this show while you're gliding through the guide on your tv, give it a holler.

My brother was trying to teach me how skate his Rip-Stick. Dear heavens, let's just let Marissa stick to skateboarding for now.

On a happier note, America's Best Dance Crew taping on Tuesday; Six Flags on Thursday; and Fourth of July Robeks picnic on Friday. Excited? Yes.

Let's play the numbers game, shall we?

Marissa's Life in a Numerical Nutshell

Number of Pride & Prejudice piano pieces learned: 1.5
Number of limbs Lakshmi had: 8
Number of limbs Lakshmi has now: 4
Number of attempts Ren had to teach me to skate his Rip-Stick: 12
Number of things to look forward to this week: 3

the alcocer anecdotes 02

yet another intuitive chat with the one and only Alcocer...

Episode 2: Grapes and Oversized Fans

d: wtf turn on accept files -_-
m: oh haha dammit, i just switched to my phone, i turned off my comp already
d: well that's royally gay
m: oh how ironic, like you
d: isn't irony the unexpected?
m: yes
d: but it's well known that i'm gay
d: so it's actually quite fitting
d: and the only reason i'm saying this is because i'm assuming you can't save convos on phones, woot
m: actually, i can lol
d: *#$^&$%^!#
m: i can email them to whomever too haha
d: i need you to do me a favor
m: depends
d: on?
m: how extreme it is
d: oh, phew, it's not extreme
d: just throw your phone out the window, preferably into a pool
d: if not, just delete this conversation =]
m: oh! i'd love to actually, destroy my phone that is
m: i want a new one, but unfortunately, i have approx 8 more months with this baby
d: so you'll delete it?
m: why would i
d: i said i was gay.
m: if it's "well-known" lol
d: ur bustin my balls here
m: that sounds painful
d: it hurts, so would u stop
m: i wasn't aware of busting
d: u are now!
m: what does the action of "busting" mean exactly
d: literally or figuratively?
m: both
d: punching/steppin on.............being a pain in the ass?
d: those are my guesses
m: so...you aren't completely sure then, cuz they're just "guesses"
m: i could totally be like feeding you grapes and fanning you with oversized fans
d: so you're suggesting that there is a chance that busting means...pampering?
m: sure why not
d: "ur pampering my balls here"
d: interesting. and gross
d: instead, delete it so in 34 years when i want to run for office, you don't blackmail me with this conversation
d: although, maybe it will help with the gay vote.
m: and then you'll be responsible for the new slang "pampering of one's balls"
d: no actually
d: YOU would be responsible for it.
m: true. very true.
d: you would blackmail me JUST so you can get publicity, and credit for this phrase
d: effectively putting you on the wikipedia map
m: sweet.
d: why wait til then? let's make an entry for you right now!
m: oh! how fun hahaha
d: i'll do it later o=
d: -__-
d: i'll find a pic of someone being fed grapes and being fan'd with oversized fans
m: lmao urbandictionary.com
d: will u thumbs up it later?
m: fasho.
d: ugh finding this pic won't be easy
m: word.
d: i thought i was so smart looking up caesar
m: lmao
d: but all i can find is his death...and stupid chicken salad pictures ~_~
m: that's good
d: ?? no it's not!
m: what about "royal treatment"
d: nope, anymore bright ideas?
m: hmm, "the good life" lol
d: did u ever watch history of the world
d: LOL good life came close
m: no. that must've been a long documentary
m: oh yeah????
d: ha
m: what'd you get?
d: ha ha
d: -________-
d: a comic cartoon of caesar eating grapes
m: damn haha close for u too
d: yeah, there is a perfect scene from that movie, i'm trying to find it
m: search away
d: FUCK those bitches
d: i got the pic, but they black'd out everything but caesar
d: USELESS
m: lmao, they knew you were coming
d: i give up, i'm just getting a picture of u and putting grapes and fan next to you.
m: LMAO make it snazzy and legit haha
d: f that, i'm almost done.
m: haha great, this is gonna look retarded
d: duh?
d: done.

d: i'll make a pretty one later.
d: your face makes it
m: the fan isn't even clearly visible
d: that's the point
m: what's the point, praytell
d: don't ask me what the point is, but it is definitely pointed
d: !!!
d: uh
d: because
d: so
d: how about those lakers losing
d: pretty cool

profoundly listening

recently, I have been word vomiting my way through life, providing insights to things that have troubled me in the past or have touched me as well as got me inquiring about the wonders of the world. I think it my turn to share these experiences of life and the wonderments of what we know as life to the world...through music. So, it brings me great and exciting pleasure to tell you, faithful readers, that I, in collaboration with a former member of The Ready Aim Fire! and Trinitron Meets the Mars People, am currently in the works of making/writing a song. I swear, the summer heat is bringing out the creative juices in people.

However, it's what I will be writing in lyrics that will probably be the most profound part of it all. Settling on just one main thing to talk about is going to be tough. I have a few ideas bouncing around at the top of my head, but I want something to be truly meaningful to get out, something that will touch someone, something that will pull at one's heartstrings, something that will make you pull your car aside while you're driving on the freeway (actually, that would be an unsafe thing to do)...just to listen. Okay, so I'm not quite sure it will be that extreme, but I hope it does reach out to someone, anyone. Once I do that, it'll be a thing that I could say I've done and not many people out there have done. So keep your eyes, mouths, and most especially ears open to the sights and sounds of, well, me. And the collaboration with __________. (Uhh, we need to fix that. PRONTO.)

Bitten by the music bug.

case file 03

why is it that parents seem to enjoy making their children's lives as miserable as possible?

I have been everyone's good girl for way too long; way past my due date. I have followed every rule of the house. I have done my share of good grades. And yet somehow, some way, I have nothing in compensation. They don't give me anything. Nothing.

I can't hang out late with my friends and honestly, it just brings tears to my eyes not knowing or even comprehending why they torture me in ways inexplicable. I just don't understand! Why do they do this to me? Do they want me to be miserable? Unsociable, perhaps? They push me to talk to people at the most inappropriate of times and yet, I can't even hang out with my own friends?! Why, I ask, why? Sure, I get that they're concerned that I come back at like 1 in the morning or so, but hello? It's not like I do that every single fucking day. They should be glad I don't do drugs or I'm off having sex with every single guy I meet. They should be glad that I don't go out every single night. They taught me well enough and they should know that. But cut me some slack. Please. I'm back from my first year of college; my first year of true freedom; my first year of not living at home; my first real year of independence.

But I guess I should have known...that I'm back home again. With my parents. And their stupid rules.

she wants

she wants someone to hold her at bedtime
She wants someone to push the hair from her eyes
She wants a surprise at every turn
She wants someone to wipe the tears from those eyes
She wants someone to love her without make-up
She wants someone to shower her with smiles
She wants to help him become a better person
She wants to be the only girl he sees in the room
She wants to be the object of one's affections
She wants to be the girl with fair reasoning
She wants him to put his arm around her
She wants him to look at her all starry-eyed
She wants him to look past her faults
She wants him to want to do something for her
She wants him to hold out his hand before hers
She wants a dedication of dreams
She wants him to go above and beyond
She wants him to ask her what's wrong
She just wants to be loved.

random revelations

just thought I'd share some of my thoughts I have come across over the past few days:

- I will never get tired of watching Sleepless in Seattle.
- There are so many hoes in the world. Gah. I can't take it anymore. They all need to calm the fuck down or just stop. Mother of pearl.
- Foreigners Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Adam Garcia give me toothaches. Delicious bitches.
- My belly is getting chubbier. Bummer.
- A year and 4 months with my boo and I have never gotten tired of him and I never will. I love him so much.
- College Year One is over. O.O
- I have made more true friends in a few months than I have in a few years. I love how everyone is just so different.
- I need a job to get money to pay for gas to get to summer school in Irvine. That's a big chain reaction.
- This really isn't a revelation but go type "Justin Bieber" in Youtube. "With You" is the cutest in my opinion. What a cutie.
- God, thank you for creating someone like Ryan Reynolds. His backside looks just as good as his front side. And you know how much I love masculine backs.

- I feel so much cooler when I lose my voice. Like today for example, my parents had no idea what the hell I was saying because most of the syllables and words from what I was saying were completely incomprehensible. Brilliant. And plus, I just sound ten times more sexier. Especially my laugh. Or lack thereof.
- I would totally do Anjelah Johnson.
- Another non-revelation-Youtube-thing: "the first slut is the cheapest." Listen all the way to the end please. The last minute is the best.

the sidekick stories 03

there comes a time in a woman's life when she must scour the world, or her nearby shopping malls, to purchase the one, the only, Rock Band.

Okay, so I just threw this in for kicks. The night Calmindon went awry.

The dope ass restroom sign intrigued me.

This basically diverted Alison and my attention, thus missing our ATM stop.

Life-size Elmo.

The craziest Star Wars figurine section I have ever seen.

It couldn't even fit in the camera screen. So I took two shots.

This is a silly display. It's funny how all the boxes are for the male anatomy.

This got me excited for the new Batman movie. Except, Batman isn't really made up of Legos.

The model Alison was staring at. Not because his hand was in his pants, of course.

There seems to be a cool fountain everywhere I go.

Self-explanatory.

Bam. Welcome to South Coast. That's the bridge we got hit on.

And this is where we received our hunger salvation.

cherished times

just because he's worth every moment...

intoxication

installs turned out to be one of the most dramatic events ever. All that planning, all that practice, all the stress of having to find a dress all came down to this one day. And what happened? It all came to a crashing halt. I won't go into details because I've seriously told the stories so many times to so many different people asking how it went and trust me, it's not a fun story to tell. Let's just say that no one got installed that night and I missed my own boyfriend's birthday because of it. Pictures to sum up the night goes as follows:

word sentence idea (aa01)

it's always a rejuvenating feeling to have conversations that include fun, witty things. Read it all, if you can. It's pretty funny.

Episode 1: The English Literature

D: i heard ur the best dancer

m: WTF

m: FROM WHO

D): everyone

m: be a little more constructive on your feedback lol

mM): who is 'everyone'

m: nawww haha i just havent danced in a while

D: by everyone i of course mean every person currently in existence

D: and by that i mean jenn and arika

m: no wayy....even obama!

m: oh.

m: -___-

D: haha i was gonna say bush actually

D: how funny

D: i thot that would b lame to say tho

m: bush. -___-

m: do you watch alias?

D: nope

m: d'oh

D: i can call u alias tho

D: that would b the best alias ever

m: aaaaahahaha

m: no doubt.

D: i think ill name my child alias

D: and my second one alias number two, that will REALLY confused the hell out of people

m: but what if he/she becomes a secret agent

m: and they really need an alias

D: uhm

D: well then they can jus go by the name of bob

m: oooh tricky.

D: that is tricky

m: poor kid,

D: maybe ill reconsider the name alias

D: just call him/her shitface

D: that was fun game

D: super fun

m: twas*

D: t'was* actually

D: = )

m: -_________-

m: you say the word "ill" and not "i'll" lol

m: lack of punctuation, my friend lol

D: yeah but how often do you type twas in chat

m: a lot.

D: only smart people like us use it/know what it means

m: i also like using fortnight lol

D: LOL

D: what is that

D: 40 days or something

m: -___-

m: 2 weeks lol

D: oh yeah something like that~

D: well then u r super cool, golden star for u missy

m: hoorayyyy

D: actually, thats nerdy

D: half star only

m: damn.

m: so close.

D: u get the other half if u dance well

m: gah.

D: or if u have a funny joke

D: O_o

D: or u just make a clever/funny comment

m: mm.

m: my witty comments just flow whenever.

D: you remind me of a young me

m: i don

D: steady your path, for you are destined for greatness!

m: i don't have a penis.

D: yeah except the whole looking like a man

D: and penis thing

m: hahahaha

D: minor details

m: yeh, just minor.

D: the important details, however, are your mental skills!

m: miniscule things.

m: absolutely.

m: amen to that, brotha.

D: well my train of thought was "alias sounds like aeris, wait she wont know what aeris is, oh wait but what if she has played final fantasy 7, oh so just ask her, ok, ill ask her"

m: LMAO what a cool train of thought

m: and aeris IS a coool name

m: its like erin. but like. eris.

D: word

D: so i take it u havent played any ff games

m: sentence.

D: :*(

D: idea

m: phrase.

D: what the

D: u cant go from idea to phrase

m: oh. i thought we were just naming literature-ish things.

D: no there was a clear hierarchy here

D: word makes sentence

D: sentence makes idea

m: hmm, didn't see that one coming.

D: idea makes ______ (ur turn)

m: hmm...

m: this one is hard.

m: man.

m: why do i get the hard one.

m: that's what she said.

D: no the hard one is going to be after idea...

D: lol no

D: that's what YOU said

m: WELL I DONT WANT TO SAY ME lol

D: but you did = \

D: which means, u get the hard one

D: oh zing~!~!

m: GAH

D: u appear to have a high-quality taste/respect in/for comedy

D: r u asian

m: you asked me this before!

m: hahahaha

D: o

D: no that was a dream

D: i dont forget things

m: no T'WAS not a dream

D: double negative

D: twas a dream

m: AFFIRMATIVE

D: exactly

m: i was sitting right next to you.

D: actually u were at my left

D: but.

m: THATS NEXT lol

D: yeah but u said right

D: moving on

m: BAH

D: so

D: wat r u

m: what do you think i am

D: some latin american + asianness

m: ooooh impressive

D: or jus filipino

m: ooooh impressive

D: ok im over it

D: anyways

m: lmao

D: i jus rememberd

D: ur the person

D: who thinks

D: u like fotc more than i

m: i don't think.

m: i KNOW.

D: uh

D: correction

D: think

m: uh correction. KNOW.

D: i will lay the smack down if i have to

D: O_O

m: is that so

D: word

D: so

D: step off this.

m: i don't step off. i step UP like channing tatum.

m: i cower at the name of chemistry.

D: you fear the understanding of a subject

D: tis but a state of mind to learn something

m: i fear all that is chemistry.

D: ~_~

D: for shame

D: i call bogus

D: ur acting!

m: i shant lie to you. i would have been in the acting biz. but i refused. but chemistry still remains where it stands in my book: NUMERO UNO on THINGS TO COWER

D: is there a reasonable and logical argument for this, or is it but an old dreadful memory, a mere, association of emotional connection to the subject

m: i would most likely originate my fear from the "old dreadful memory, a mere, association of emotional connection to the subject."

D: care to elaborate

m: well.

m: it's simple really

m: chemistry = fail.

m: no.

m: chemistry = epic fail.

D: not enough context to make an adequate opinion i fear. however, i will just assume you had a few consecutive "bad" experiences with chemistry, and now you believe it is beyond you. which of course is just absurd

m: yes, yes, make that very assumption.

D: as long as we agree it is absurd ^_^

m: mm....

D: or shall we play with the rhetoric a bit...

D: ridiculous?

m: i must disagree. it is galaxies beyond.

D: asinine

D: sigh

D: u make me head hurt

D: :o" src="aolbart:/1024/id/2B00000281/3E3A6F" unselectable="on">

m: you make MY head hurt lol

D: aye, an eye for an eye

m: aye.

D: eye

m: i.

D: http://www.buytaert.net/cache/images-miscellaneous-2006-eye-500x500.jpg

m: uh

m: what a nice eye.

D: that's mine

m: wow, it is very hypnotizing.

D: that's how i get the women

D: = \

m: or should i say hypnotEYEzing

D: lol

m: bah

D: NICE

m: wow, italicized AND bolded...score for marissa

m: AND underlined*

D: dont forget underlined

D: word.

D: that is

D: the whole package

m: mos def

D: u have reached womanhood

D: u are now a woman

D: congratulations

m: YES. ive waited all my life to get out that whole britney 'not a girl, not yet a woman' stage

m: god, that took forever.

D: yeah

D: all it took was a display of ur masterful comedic skills

D: to a certified womanhood-er person no less

D: that would be me~

m: cue exhilirating motivational music

m: or the alleluia hymn.

D: lol

D: yeah

D: grats