Monday, November 10, 2008

mop my heart

he sweeps me off my feet.

k: Sweetie.
m: You never call me sweetie. I like that.
k: Well...
m: I want you to call me that more often.
k: Well, I don't want to be one of those guys that calls their girlfriend names like "sweetie" and "honey" and "hun" all the time...
m: ...
k: Whenever I say it, it only comes once in a while. That way, it means something, something more.
m: ...
k: Hah, I just totally blew your mind!
m: This is true.

=)

I'm a girl. Sometimes I'm catty, emotional, sassy, sophisticated, cute and sometimes too smart for my own good. I would enjoy classy things like diamond encrusted Tiffany's necklaces and fancy, romantic dates at dim lit restaurants.

BUT.

The most cherished moments I enjoy having are the moments I spend loving and laughing with him. I love the nights consisting of waiting for the pizza delivery boy to show up with our dinner; when we're just lying down on my bed, on our bellies, right next to each other; when he turns to hug me and look deep in my eyes while we're watching a war movie; when he puts me in wrestling moves that I can't get out of; when I giggle because he digs his fingers in my ticklish spots; when we argue about trivial subjects such as whether or not my car is 4-cylinder or 6; and when pecks on the cheeks are so jam-packed with love, it's heart-melting.

I live for these moments.

"I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the-the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is-is-is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't-I can't look into your eyes without feeling that-that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship - no pun intended - but I had to say it, 'cause I've never felt this way before, and I-I don't care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I'll accept that. But I know, I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there's a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. And all I ask, please, is that you just - you just not dismiss that, and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Alyssa, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which - while I do appreciate it - I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of. "

PS. I'm up for a second interview at a potential job this week; a potential job that excites me so much, I can't wait to start. Truly. 40% discount, you're MINE.

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