maybe she's born with it

karl fidgets in his seat at Cheesecake Factory...

He straightens the napkin on his lap and sits up straight.
He looks up a little, daydreaming of something.

I smile. "What are you anticipating?"

He turns to look at me. "How do you know I'm anticipating something? How do you know these things?!"

I laugh. I laugh because I know him more than anyone else. And I know him more than anyone else because I love him.


BTW, he was totally anticipating the arrival of the Tiramisu cake we ordered. ;)

pick a cube

yeah, this was pretty much amazing. Go ahead and try it.

Name: marissa
Date: 8/10/2009
Colorgenics Number: 45107263

---

You have a vivid imagination and this is good. Great inventors, explorers all had inventive, imaginative minds. Your friends and acquaintances may consider you over-imaginative and given to fantasy or day-dreaming. So what ? this is a part of your character and charm.

Being a somewhat gentle, emotional and sensitive person, you are at this time experiencing a considerable amount of tension. What you really need is someone who can be close to you and to listen to what you have to say.

The present situation, not of your making, is forcing you to compromise. You will have to hold back and forgo some of your hopes, dreams and aspirations.

There is considerable amount of stress present in your life at this time and this is perhaps due to some considerable mental and physical frustration. There are various physical needs that are necessary for your well-being but whatever the reasons - mostly of your own making - your needs are not being fulfilled. We wonder why? You are under the impression that nobody seems to care for you. This predicament is most uncomfortable and it is because of this that you are experiencing far more stress than you feel you can cope with. You need to find a soul mate - someone who truly understands you and whose standards are as high as your own. As matters stand you would like to break away from the vicious cycle that you find yourself entrapped but this is easier said than done. You refuse to compromise with your opinions and essentially you are unable to resolve the situation because you are continually postponing the making of the necessary decision. You are stubborn but this should be no deterrent experiencing a happy life.

You feel utterly wretched - worn out. The demands that other people have been making on you have depleted your strength and stamina. You feel powerless to try to remedy the situation on your own and you are looking for what is hopefully known as 'divine intervention'. But be assured your salvation lies in yourself - you have the ability so use it.

FIND YOURSELF.

silly texts

i just wanted a record of these before I deleted them from my phone. =)

r: AHH I'M A HO

n: Ha. Yea. I'm retarded. I grabbed my bag for some reason. It's my ADD. Ha. Get it in like five minutes after I flip a bitch.

f: School is the coldest bitch I've ever known.

f: Have the objects of my heartbreak been collected yet?

c: Hellooooo my favorite roooooomies in the whole wide world.....

c: We neeeeeeeda have a summmer partyyy!

k: Silly billy. its chilly. shop at tillys.

f: Bao vinh and his cousin are talking in french and it sounds so cool!

b: HAHA sure princess =)

f: lol i know! Did u see your note? lol i didn't even know they were here til i peed at like 4. Btw...did u even sleep?!? Your lights were still on!

f: Gimme that job so we can giggle together as we work haha...jk k rest now booo.

f: haha yayyy! see u at home mamacitaaa!

k: i know what you were doing. you were saving it for a date with me.

Okay. BALEEEEEETED!

blast from the past

let me lay out this scenario for you. The Ho goes to a family bbq, where she meets her cousin's friends. She begins to talk to one of these friends and creates a nice friendly bond with him. Through texts, the Ho and this one guy chat up a storm, asking each other random questions and such. It's a simple acquaintance.

I ask about him and find out his name. No clue whatsoever. She tells me his hobbies and where he went to school. I discover he went to college with my own cousin. Peculiar. Heading on to facebook, we try to determine more things about the guy. Private profile. Damn.

A few days later, I ask my own cousin about the guy. And this is how it went down:

m: oh question
i: wats up
m: do you know a ____ ____?
i: yeaaaa remember? U dated him? lol
m: asdgasdrga;sidhf;aksjhgd NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
i: ahahaha well u guys had a thing
m: *&#!#(%*^@%#!
i: remember? like a LITTLE thinggg
m: ok wait wait wait
i: U guys met up at the carnival and s***
m: wow, i TOTALLY forgot about that lol, blast from the f***ing past lol
i: hahaha i know right!!!
m: so tell me, because i honestly don't remember, what happened again? lol
i: hahaha well i think i was like a matchmaker or something cuz he liked me first
m: i remember...
i: but i didn't, so i introduced u guys
m: -_____-
i: and u started talking online and the time u guys met at the carnival for the first timeee
m: the ONLY time lol
i: yeaaaa lol
m: yeah but do u remember what happened after?
i: no, it got awkward? lol and u guys stopped talkin
m: yeah....i don't remember lol, how f***ing hilarious.
i: hehe small world O_O

UGHHHHHHHHHHHH. I must've erased that portion of my life from my memory for some reason.

avada kedavra vs faith

a little thing called faith has kept me going the past few weeks. I'm not quite sure why I've neglected it for quite some time, but when replenished, it truly is something to be in awe of. I lost touch with Him for maybe 2 years and yet, He still pulls through with my prayers. I passed spring quarter better than I expected and it's all because of Him. So PTL for faith. I'm sticking to my religious roots.

On a sillier note, I love Cynthia:
m: Alright, I will see you back at the apartment wifey!
c: Haha, I expect a hot dinner on the table
m: What if I was naked on the kitchen counter with sushi covering my special lady parts? Haha hot enough for ya? lmao
c: Only if it's homemade sushi haha

As for what the summer has blessed me with, it's a painstakingly horrendous amount of organic chemistry. My Tuesdays and Thursdays are free...free to work and earn that cash a broke college student yearns for. My Mondays and Wednesdays are absolutely insane. Chem lecture takes up my morning; chem lab lecture/chem discussion take up my noontime; and chem lab consumes my afternoon in 4 hours. Second session is going to be a pain. Not only will I have even more organic chemistry to deal with, I get to top off the last half of my summer with calculus. Someone, anyone, have your wand at the ready and when I tell you, yell out "Avada Kedavra!" But then again, it's all about the faith. Keep the faith. Go listen to Miley Cyrus' song The Climb. I've actually taken a liking to it. I know! I shock myself too!

In other news, my roommates and I have put a hold on a 2-story townhouse nearby and, to tell you the truth, it's pretty legit. It's actually amazing to think about. I didn't know anyone in my hall the first year of college (with the exception of my childhood friend). And yet, here I am, rooming with some of the coolest people I've met and who I never knew before 2 years ago (with the exception of my high school friend). I get to room (in this case, in the same room) with someone who I met during the first and foremost crucial days of college life. Not to mention rooming (in this case, in the same residence) with a silly person from high school, a person of whom I have yet to truly get to know (although I do know she enjoys the same passion of Urban Outfitters as I do), and probably the smartest person I've met these past few years (we're talking about 4.0, straight A PLUSES, yeah, PLUSES). Just looking back, it's all pretty much "mind-bottling."

Speaking of the past and reminiscing on old memories, starting in approximately 2 months (beginning when I move in to the new abode), I will be packing up and moving my thoughts and hopefully my more artistic self to a new blog. Indeed. It will be a momentous occasion. I'll be updating more (maybe) and throwing some pictures, videos, quotes, polaroids, recipes, lyrics, songs and poems at you. So we'll see how that goes. So I guess I'll be summing up what this blog meant to me and how it has given me something to hold on to within the next few weeks or so. I hope, it's my only wish really, that you've enjoyed or have gotten something out of what you've read here. If not...bummer.

kix and karl

over the past few days, I felt rather empty; empty in the sense that stuff has been pretty much monotonous and predictable. However, just recently, it has occurred to me that it is the simple pleasures in life that have kept me sane. I told myself a long time ago that I appreciated these simple things and yet, I have forgotten about them until now.

I walked into the kitchen this morning and rummaged through our desert of a kitchen and found a cereal box of Kix. I used to think that Lucky Charms and Cocoa Pebbles, even Froot Loops, were the best cereals out there but I realized all of them were sugar-filled and contained some sort of wacky color. And then there's Kix. To tell you the truth, it wasn't something I would jump for in the cereal aisle at the grocery store. But today, it looked rather appealling. I took it down from on top of the fridge and poured myself a bowl accompanied with some milk. Boy, was that tasty. It was this simple experience that I thoroughly enjoyed that made me recognize how much I was missing if I spent my life focusing on things I've already tried. Kix was absolutely delcious. It's my new favorite.

And then there's Karl. Honestly, there wasn't much to appreciate other than the fact of his birth at the end of May. Hah. Our relationship has been somewhat steady and what we have felt right. I was having a deep and meaningful conversation with my roommate and we came to the conclusion that our boyfriends are actually very good men. They're good men to us, even if we may not see it. I closed my eyes tonight and realized that Karl has been a better boyfriend than most of the couples I've seen and met. He takes care of me and protects me, pays for me, and doesn't let me down. And I appreciate all of it, all of him. But above all, I love his patience to deal with my girlish tendencies. He makes me feel so special.

That's why my roommate and I are planning a small "appreciation" gift for our boyfriends. Stuff in the mix include homemade candlelit dinner and naming a star after them. Either way, I love you and I always will. <3

hopeless romantic

upon looking up cute things to wear to the park, I came across this:

Sweet Romantic Things to Do for Your Sweetheart
By Kathryn D'Imperio

1. Leave little love notes or piles of candy when you visit each other. Stash them away where your honey will be sure to find them, whether in the car, under his/her pillow or in a travel bag.

2. Call just because you are thinking of him or her, leave a cute message in the voicemail or send a text message with a sweet or seductive meaning. If you prefer to leave a message as opposed to talking, call when you know he or she is unavailable so a little something sweet is waiting upon return to the cell phone, home or office.

3. Send an email, or better yet, get old-fashioned and send a letter or a card through the mail to express your love. After all, who doesn't love getting mail (well, except for bills!) as a surprise?

4. When you are getting together for an evening or even for just a few minutes, pick up his or her favorite treat or snack, a specialty coffee or dessert as a sweet surprise. If you are going to rent a movie or spend some quiet time at home, get a few snacks to enjoy with a flick or some television.

5. Speaking of renting movies, surprise your sweetheart with a movie you pick out that you know he or she would really enjoy. I often have a difficult time making up my mind about which movie to rent, so it would definitely be a huge but much appreciated step if I brought one over that I knew he would like.

6. You know those sweet things you think of when you are together or just thinking about your honey? Well, next time a thought pops in your mind, voice it! Girls especially love to know what wonderful things go on in the inner workings of their guys minds, so chances are, guys may also enjoy a few catch phrases.

7. When you spend time together, help each other out with chores to free up more time to spend together. Sometimes lending a hand can even be fun when you are both working together.

8. Swap massages, or simply give your partner a massage if you get the idea that he or she has had a long day. Foot massages and back rubs can do wonders for relaxing people and alleviating stress. Many males seem to enjoy having their backs gently scratched or rubbed softly as a means of helping them to relax.

9. Bring home take-out from a favorite dining establishment after a long day so the two of you can enjoy some food in the comfort of your own home. It isn't quite as romantic as cooking it yourself, but it is definitely a nice gesture.

10. Pick wildflowers or give a single rose or carnation for no reason. I even found a four-leaf clover once to give to my sweetheart.

12. Do something you may not want to, simply because it is important to him or her. This can be anything from attending a show or an event to doing a chore, giving up a bad habit or just trying something new. Find out what is important to him or her if you don't already know, and make it happen.

13. Spend time with his or her family. The seriousness of a relationship can sometimes be gauged by how one interacts with his or her partners family. Spending time at your honey's family's home can also serve to strengthen your relationship.

14. Spend extra time getting ready; dress up or wear something that you know your sweetheart loves to see on you.

15. Snuggle up and take a nap together. There is nothing quite like falling asleep and waking up in the arms of the one you love.

16. Play romantic music and dance together. Slowly dancing around the room to a favorite song can mean so much more when it is completely unexpected.

17. Go on a picnic! Gather your favorite foods, drinks and desserts, a comfortable blanket and some utensils, plates, cups and napkins and head out for the park on a beautiful day. Go for a walk in the park while you are there and enjoy all of the nature around you.

18. Carry his or her photo in your wallet. Keep your sweetie present at all times by putting a photo of him/her or the two of you together in your wallet, at work, in your car or wherever you think you would most like to see it.

19. Find and make recipes you enjoy together!

20. Share your daydreams. Whatever makes your heart soar at thoughts of the future, consider sharing those ideas with your special one. Daydreaming together can be a very romantic and emotional experience, whether it is fully in jest or in a degree of serious contemplation.

21. Spray a little bit of your perfume or cologne on his or her pillow. You will be on each others' minds to begin with, but the lingering scent after you have gone separate ways for the night will bring sweeter dreams than usual.

22. Bring your sweetheart to visit places you came to know and love in your childhood. Parks, playgrounds, the zoo, pumpkin patches, museums, amusement parks, beaches, boardwalks and any other attractions that you enjoyed as a child can bring back happy memories to share with your significant other.

<3
Am I a hopeless romantic or what?

PS. It's my boo's birthday tomorrow! =)

hell week

these next few days/weeks are going to be a major pain in me arse. Here's hopin' for the best. I'm serious.

- AfAm readings *FAILURE
- talk to a counselor *MAYBE NOT
- fall registration *DONE
- making monies *IN PROCESS
- baking cookies *EXTREMELY HARD
- do laundry *I NEED $5
- philosophy questions
- psych readings
- participate in AfAm discussion
- find a legit bakery *CHECK
- thank Christopher for the gajillionth time
- zomgwtfbbq
- see Karl drift @ HTF?
- STUDY FOR FINALS
- save money *EPIC FAIL

It's going to be hard to enjoy life while school is still in session. Then I get a week off. Then it's off to study organic chemistry at its best. Then second day of summer school = THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH CONAN O'BRIEN. That should be a little breather.

riled up

fanboys...and fangirls.

j: rogue leader
m: first of all, i'm not ten. nor am i that ugly lol
j: hahhahahah
j: loll
j: trekkie
m: what's that supposed to mean
j: it's a derogatory word
m: are you calling me a trekkie
j: yes, yes i am
m: and what are you
j: i'm the one with the force
m: PFFFT you are the furthest thing from "the one with the force"
j: oh yea?
m: i'm not the one who bought la forge's sunglasses
m: IN YOUR FACE
m: and who the f*ck brings a lightsaber to a star trek movie
j: it was on my face
m: you might as well get out of the theater
j: hahahaha
j: i was using the force on all the viewers
m: so don't be trekkie me
m: because you have conflicting ideologies
j: wow you really are taking this seriously huh
j: hahahahaha lol omg
m: -_______-
m: i'm proving a point
j: and i was just talking about the movie
j: hoping you'd respond to it
m: well i'm sorry but i got real riled up for that one
j: hahahhahahah
j: i like your passion
m: good. because my heart was pumped for that one.

ps. 5 things done from the grocery list.

remedy for rage

shopping. I bet you saw that one coming.

I just need to get away. At least window shop. Maybe get started on my grocery list. Take my mind off things. Then get started on homework and studying for finals. Woot.

_edit.

So, surprisingly, I didn't make any large purchases (as opposed to Frances). Hit up Nordstrom for some MAC, bought a raunchy bra at VS, exchanged a ring for a hoodie at UO, and scored some earrings at XXI. Not too shabby. Frances, on the other hand, bought four new outfits at XXI, which I'm borrowing in the near future. The very near future. My future room-roomie has got style.

animosity in a venti please

ugh. Sometimes I just really hate some people. There may be times when I dislike characteristics of the person, but at times, it comes to the point where I just really don't like you. At all. You're pretty much spam to me (She's All That reference). I'm not some person you go to conceal your secretive plans. I'm freaking sick of it. Here's a thought: why don't you just tell everyone where you're really going and save MYself the trouble of having me think about inching closer to my phone to call the "authorities." Yeah, I understand that they're all strict and what not, but it's not a reason for you to put this burden upon others, especially me. Do you ever wonder why they're so strict? HMMMM. Maybe because they have a CLEAR idea of what the hell you do and why you dress the way you do or pile on the make-up. I don't want to be your getaway. One of these days, you're going to get caught. And honestly, I can't wait for that moment. You may think that it's all good and I know that you won't get me in trouble, but HELLO. It's all about YOU YOU YOU. Learn a little respect and maybe be more concerned with other people and how you treat them. Think about what they're feeling for once. I hate taking care of you during these times because these are the times when you need to seriously grow up.

I'm cross with you. Yeah, I'm pretty pissed.

VENTI SIZED.

grocery list

here are a few minor goals I hope to achieve within the coming days:

- boy meets girl rouched tunic
- rapscallion by samantha pleet denim romper
- kimchi blue cinema swimsuit
- jeffrey campbell crosshatch platform
- get my nails done
- maybe a trim of some split-ends
- baby blue comfy ass sweater
- mac slimshine lipstick
- lash blast
- develop 120 film
- honey nut cheerios
- eggs
- salmon for frances
- special ingredients for a special project for a special someone

Yeah...I don't think my next paycheck is going to cover all of this.

live long and prosper

conan o'brien, you are my bitch lover. I get the pleasure of being in his presence at the end of June. Excited? Oui. What to wear, what to wear, what to wear?! TV show tapings are just plain awesome.

Life has treated me well as of late: an expected A on my philosophy midterm; a surprising A on my afam midterm; good hair days; free merch credit for some new clothing; happy run-ins with old co-workers; Star Trek in IMAX; passionfruit green tea runs; quality time with the boyfriend; no more overdraft fees; newfound gratitude for old never-really-worn clothes; etc.

There have been a few bumps in the road like the occasional person who has been getting on my nerves. It's like having another one of those. ARGH. But no worries, hopefully the lock on my door will keep people away. But then again, maybe it's the fresh air I need.

France-Ass and I are thinking about getting bunk beds next year. Chewy on the bottom bunk!

So after that whole KFC craze (had free meals for two days straight), I'm turning back to pescatarianism to totally pwn our bet. And to make matters better, I have been working out with one of my roommates, so thank goodness for that motivation. Lunges are a real pain.

Summer is almost here. Can you smell that? That's the smell of two 5-week sessions of organic chemistry for me. Tasty. Not to mention the accompanying labs and a calculus class. God help me.

ps. As soon as I get my next paycheck, or maybe my next next paycheck, I will develop my 120 film. I really want to see how they turned out. Too bad I can't find any color 120 film. =(

dear deborah

i feel as if I have no way to contact you other than here. Well, there's facebook, indeed, but how impersonal it would be to leave a wall post. Rather, I am determined to make my sentiments known here. =) Seeing as how you've stayed a devoted trivial teenager reader.

In regards to you missing your piano:
I've actually been spending some quality time with the piano back home lately. I've been home for like three weekends straight. I think my parents are probably annoyed of me by now. (Or not.) BUT, nevertheless, I missed the piano. I'm basically the only one playing with it now. And I am in SOME SERIOUS need for new sheet music. I am still on the lookout for the Amelie sheet music.

In regards to you watching Gilmore Girls:
ZOMG. I don't know what I was doing when this show first appeared on the WB. Where was I?! Probably watching something lame like Zaboomafoo. ARGH. But I must admit, catching up on the seasons of this show over and over again is just a pleasant way to get away from life. I'm pretty much in love with Jess. I was never really a fan of Dean or Logan. But you know what, after watching how Logan and Rory got together, I'm starting to like him even more. But Jess will pwn as usual. I'm just sayin', Logan isn't so bad. :)

In regards to your encouragement for a new me:
Thanks, babe. I hope I can. Maybe I'll talk to you and the Villena elder about my academic struggles sometime. =/ It's getting pretty bad. Let's just say I'm going to be disappointing the parentals because I'm FOR SURE switching majors. I'm scared they'll wring my neck or probably send me to the guillotine. No, maybe a firing squad. Or maybe a major wet willy. Any of those would be truly frightening.

In regards to my newfound passion for pescatarianism:
Indeed, it truly is rewarding, I must say. I was thinking about vegetarianism but I really don't think I can do it. LOL You don't understand, after a week, I was craving a steak bowl at Chipotle. But, please do send me those recipes! I would LOVE to try them out! I feel like I will never develop a passion for tofu, it's just not in the stars for me. And when you said "vegan 'meats'," I basically melted, I would love to know more about that. Not because it's "meat," but because, well, just ask Villena de Mayor how much I love my food. <3

Horribly broke and pretty hungry,
VANILLA.

a new me

i've thrown away all indiscretions. I think it's time to really step up the game. It's time for a change. I've taken college for granted a little too much. Heck, A LOT too much. Starting now, it's all going to change. Wish me luck.

Otherwise... X.X

And that's not a good thing.

on a roll

three posts within a few minutes. I don't know, I've just had a lot on my mind. To further complicate things, or not, last night I had a dream.

I was at Albertson's and I was in the wine/alcohol aisle. I was just strolling around, and I picked up a rack of Tecate Light. (WTF.) I headed over to the self-checkout machine and paid for it using my card. The screen showed a print-out of my receipt, which I noticed was pretty darn long. Didn't pay attention to it and decided to accept. The guy who was supposed to check my receipt didn't even bother to look at ID or anything. As I left and got back to my apartment, I looked at the receipt and it was about pages long. It straight up said that I was to attend a court hearing for the purchase of alcohol under the legal age. O.O I was FUH-REA-KING out. I even woke up freaking out because I KNOW that I went to Albertson's yesterday just to buy some fish (btw, I'm turning to pescatarianism, going on 6 days without meat, yay me) and salad. I wasn't sure if I subconsciously bought some Mexican beer on the way out.

It was somewhat of a nightmare.

But no worries, 2009 will be the year.

This year, I can legally buy and consume alcoholic beverages, fearlessly walk down the liquor aisle, and I don't know, go to VEGAS. Rent a hotel room. Go to a 21+ club. Whatevs.

the alcocer anecdotes 12

mini post. It's been sitting in my notepad on my phone for ages.

Episode 12: Shrooms

m: how's life
d: amazing, u?
m: spectacular
d: why did u one-up me?
m: because those mushrooms are the best kind.
d: -_-

a slap to the face

reality bites. I've been pretty much living in my own little world and I didn't realize I had it so good until now.

Lately, I've been feeling rather overwhelmed with so much. I won't go into detail, but my heart has been feeling rather stressed out as of late. I ache...

I think the two things I need right now are independence and determination. Everything else should be the least of my worries.

Oh. And more work days. -__-

the alcocer anecdotes 11

his take on our fellow furry friend...

Episode 11: The Easter Bunny

d: <_<
m: hiii
m: happy easter
d: merry easter [=
m: what's up
d: oh nothin
d: havin a bit of a downer day
d: but i plan to rebound quickly come tomorrow
d: how about u
m: why?
m: it's easter!
d: lame stuff haha
d: easter is a very odd holiday
m: are you catholic/christian?
d: not particularly
m: what does that mean lol
d: i "believe" in certain things that I have picked up from those religions
m: ohhh roight
d: lol
m: well don't be down
m: the easter bunny will come and visit you lol
d: if the easter bunny came and visited me
d: i'd punch it straight in the chest
d: haha jk =p
m: BUMMER.
d: exactly
m: I think that's what I'd say if I was in a bunny costume and someone socked me in the chest. Then I'd fall on my knees, then on my face.
d: LOLOLOL
d: omg as I read that, I pictured it all happen...Thank you. That gave me a great laugh lol
m: =)
d: (:

love utopia

is it weird to want a love like Lorelai and Luke's? =) Is it weird to get butterflies in your tummy whenever you watch the sweet side of Jess' love for Rory?

Hi, I'm Marissa and I'm a Gilmore Girls addict. Forever.

I swear, I will never get tired of this show. I pretty much devote an hour of my life each weekday in order to witness the small town life of Stars Hollow. It's my utopia.

short post

i'd figure out a way to be meaningful to you whilst doing my passion. But that's just me.

philosophical pwnage

realistically, sure, I worry about my future and what it has in store for me. I wonder where I'm going and whether I'm making the right decisions in life. I wonder about petty things like why I haven't finished reading my leisure books or why I made the purchases that I did. But that's beside the fact that I really don't know what I'll be doing within the next few years.

He called me last night and told me that his boss wanted to talk to me, which is weird because I've never met the guy and work is work. I stay out of his work and he stays out of mine. Our employment careers don't exactly have anything in common. It came as a shock to me when he told me that some stranger wanted to speak to someone like me. I'm not much for socializing with complete, complete, strangers and it felt odd that our jobs would clash in the way that they did. He told me that his boss, we shall call him Mr. Bossman, wanted to expand more on what he will be doing in the recent days, weeks, years perhaps. I hesitantly accepted to meet with him and I brought one of my other friends as reinforcements ("hesitantly" being the keyword because I had a buttload of philosophy reading to do that night as well as study questions). The meeting was set to approximately 9:30 pm. Ask me what time Mr. Bossman came, just ask me. No. You're wrong. He came at around 11 o'clock. That is almost 2 hours, maybe about 2 hours, of me and my reinforcement (plus him) waiting; just waiting in the cold wee hours of the night. The chilliness of the night started to strike my body as I started to shiver almost uncontrollably.

When Mr. Bossman finally arrived, he came with another fellow of the same business, dressed in ties and fancy shmancy office suits. Yeah, real legit. The rest was kind of a blur. I zoned out for most of his presentation, but basically, to sum it all up for you, all I heard was "money...money...I have a Porsche...money...you'll get a BMW...money...money...then you'll get a Bentley...money." And that night, all I could think about is how could someone like this get him to do a job like this; this pyramid scheme dealing with market networking. I zoned out only due to the fact that I'm not really a business-minded kind of gal, but I understood where Mr. Bossman was coming from. He had me questioning my future, which was what a good salesman does, and I was pretty befuddled that night. I was also pretty pissed at him for dragging me into this. But I was most sorry for my friend. He was sucked into the world of market networking against his will. One thing I don't like about salespeople are that they can be too pushy sometimes. If we don't want to do it, then don't let us do it. If we remain skeptical about it even after your presentations, then let us be skeptical. My friend ended up paying $600, money that he told me he didn't have. That fact just totally tied knots in my stomach. I couldn't believe me and my friend had been dragged into this. Just let us be.

This is where it gets interesting. Well, to me at least. Do you remember the philosophy reading that I had to do? The one that I could have been doing in leiu of this absolute waste of my time? When I got home at 12:30 am, all I could do was push through those pages in Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics book with as much determination as I had left. It was then that I came across this line:

"Suppose, then, that the things achievable by action have some end that we wish for because of itself, and because of which we wish for the other things, and that we do not choose everything because of something else--for if we do, it will go on without limit, so that desire will prove to be empty and futile."

I thought to myself, damn, what a perfect line to tell Mr. Bossman. After a few pages, Aristotle started to inquire about a human's highest good (goal) in life. What are human beings made to do? Eyes are made for sight. An education is the goal of studying at school. But what about us? What is the highest achievement we can possibly grasp, being both complete and self-sufficient?

Aristotle proposes that our highest good would have to be happiness. He then goes on to talk about the candidates of happiness--pleasure, honor, virtue, and finally wealth.

Wealth. Money.

"The moneymaker's life is in a way forced on him [not chosen for itself]; and clearly wealth is not the good we are seeking, since it is [merely] useful, [choiceworthy only] for some other end."

This totally boggled my mind because not only did Aristotle totally just call out Mr. Bossman, but he made the most complete sense in the world at that specific point in time, the perfect thing I needed to hear at that moment of my life. Happiness is not about wealth, people. Money is an instrumental good; one that achieves nothing more than other wanted things. It has no direct or ultimate value in life. It's not a supreme good because it is used for some other end. Aristotle is conveying the most simple message of all: the highest good is one that is complete and self-sufficient; one that is pursued for its own sake and makes a life worth living.

And that, my friends, is how Aristotle PWNED Mr. Bossman.

piano girl

music has been something that I could always turn to whenever I'm feeling uninspired or just empty. Recently, I've been missing my piano. I couldn't bring that hunk of love with me to college, but my acoustic guitar made the cut. But I think my first love would have to be with those black and white keys. I haven't had a longing for them like this before. All I have is my tv and I watch all these movies with piano instrumentals that I want to play. I'm going to get started and get my music-yearning fingers on the Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium sheet music. Then, afterwards, find the Amelie sheet music. Yann Tiersen is just a genius. I've basically conquered the pieces I've wanted to learn from Pride & Prejudice, so I think it's time to move forward. And if you aren't busy, just go youtube a guy named daveisthemusic. He's pretty much the epitome of awesome and I'm addicted to him right now.

chocolate day

too much chocolate in my diet today. As a college student, I ate chocolate mini muffins for breakfast. Then I had some hot chocolate at Starbucks after my lab final. And now, I'm about to bite into a chocolate croissant. Yikes. Why is chocolate so delicious?

I think it's time to start working out, which is funny because I might have said that many moons ago. Sigh. Maybe I should start saving up for a personal trainer. I think that would be pretty cool. But then again, I still have so much to save up for. Parking, books, a trip to Europe maybe, food, A LIFE. Ugh.

It's been a while since I last updated. Well, to sum up that gap, let's just say that the future pretty much exploded in my face. It's coming at me so fast that I'm not quite sure how to approach it. There are so many dimensions to it and it's really hard to just get a hold of. Hearing plans and ideas of the future totally freaks me out. I mean, I feel like I know what I want to do. It's just that choosing the path and succeeding is super hard. Super super hard. I think it has to do with my absence of the Lord in my life. I feel as if I was so much more at ease when I knew He was there beside me, someone there to rely on. I felt safe and secure. He helped me through so much in the past. I need to keep going to church to talk to Him. To ask Him for help. But now, I need Him to hold my hand through all of this "future stuff." I'd feel more at ease.

Sigh. Life sucks sometimes.

But then again, there's chocolate.

ostentatious wrist

i don't know what it is, but recently, I've been bitten by the fashionable watch bug (if such a thing exists). I think my fetish began when I bought my Paul Frank calculator watch. I fell in love with it the moment I saw it online. I had to have it. And now I do. Wearing it to work, I got so many compliments on it. Too bad the site doesn't carry them anymore. Then, I was cleaning my room and found an old school vintage Walt Disney watch that belonged to my aunt back in the 70's. I tried it on and it fit perfectly on my wrist. It was like it was made for me. Mickey Mouse's hands are the hands of the clock and he just smiles at me and tells me the time. Now recently, I bought another watch. -__- It's pretty tight though, and cheap. It's a Cheapo watch. In hot pink. AYEEE. I can't wait to get it in the mail. AND THEN! I was reminiscing about the old days in elementary school when my best friend came back from vacation with a brand spankin' new Baby-G watch. And wow, did I fall in love with it. I think about all the girls in my 6th grade class had to have one. I bought a lavender one (which was soooo sick) and during debut practice, I let someone wear it, but I forget who. -__- So now I'm on the lookout for another Baby-G watch. Just wait til I get my paycheck...because this girl is motha effin' buh-roke, no joke.

sometimes

relationships have their ups and downs. This conversation is an up:

k: i want to grab you and squeeze you tight
m: =( that's exactly what i want right now
m: i was thinking about that today
k: me too
k: why do you read people's blogs?
m: because they're interesting! lol
m: and i like pictures
k: i really don't understand them
k: how are they interesting
k: reading about someone else lol
k: maybe even someone you don't know
m: well it actually is better when you don't really know the person that well, because when you read the blog, then you find out more about them lol
k: b`gtvyhbnj gtbfv
k: you know what that was? ^^^
m: you smashing your head against the keyboard in frustration
k: ZOMG
k: how did you know????
k: LMAO
m: because i know my boo =)
k: hahahaha
k: that's awesome
k: that made me smile
m: good
k: you could have said hands, feet, ballz, but no
k: my head haha
m: =)
m: AND because i'd probably do the same thing if you said something weird to me lol
k: haha

I told ya, it's the little things that count. =)

hit on me

oh, the tales I could tell about my experiences being hit on. The many times at the smoothie store and some at the clothing store I got hired at about 2 months ago. I think the most memorable person would have to be Chalb (names have be changed to protect privacy. Actually not really, it's pretty easy to figure out his name). The first time we met, he came in with his baggy black jeans and his over-sized white polo. He worked at the Quizno's next door. I always wondered why my female co-workers magically disappeared from the front of the store when he came around. He seemed pretty nice so I slapped on that Robeks smile and welcomed him into the smoothie world of Nutville. Now that I think about it, I shouldn't have done it. -_- I think I came off a little too nice. When his smoothie was expedited and he left, my co-workers mysteriously showed up on the floor. Apparently, the kid had a knack for hitting on the girls at Robeks. Okay, not hit on them, but be overly enthused. I didn't think it was such a big deal. After all, I was a taken woman. But then, I made my second mistake: I walked into Quizno's during my break and bought my craved longing that day--broccoli and cheese soup. Slurp, slurp. He was working (just my luck) and he was super excited I had showed up. He was trying to talk to me and what not, asking me questions about my life. Then, when it was time to pay (I had already busted out my cash), he said "Oh, it's on me." Okay, honestly, it's cool when guys have the decency to pay for you, but firstly, we weren't on a date, and secondly, eew. I told him that I really had to pay because it wasn't right, and he'd shove the money right back at me. (What a gentleman.) So, a little flustered, I said "alright," dropped the cash in the tip jar, and sped to the door. Now, this fool. ::rolls my eyes:: I had made my third mistake unintentionally, if that makes any sense. Another day, I was sweeping the front of the store--yes, sweeping--when he walks by. I swear, this guy gets turned on by anything. He stops walking, making his friends to stop walking too, and is all "Hey, do you need any help sweeping or anything?" I look up and kind of do that whole "uhhhh, are you serious?" face. "Uh, no thanks." "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm good." "Oh, alright, just let me know." WTF. To add to this hilarious tale of a hit-on, I found out he went to my church. I saw him during mass one time, and boy, was that awkward. The holidays soon came around, and Robeks puts up little stockings with each employee's name around the store. My manager, being the silly bean she is, tells me to look in my stocking for a surprise. I figured it was candy or a Christmas bonus would be swell too. But no. I found a folded-up paper with a note written inside. I won't go into details but it said something about how he gave the money in the tip jar as an offering at mass and how he'd like to get to know me better. It was super creepy. I showed my boyfriend this note and he came up with a rebuttal for it to put in the stocking. But the guy never came around to check my stocking again. Hah. I also got hit on by the employees at the Verizon store a few doors down from Robeks. That was pretty weird. Then there were those times at Urban Outfitters when I had greeted someone who took it as an overly-friendly gesture and started to talk to me. All I really wanted to do was welcome them and do my job so I could get paid. Haha. I find it interesting that when I worked at Robeks, guys called me cute or hot. But at UO, I get "You're beautiful." It's pretty nice knowing that I've reached a classier state of beauty; it's flattering. But sometimes, all you need are those words being said from the guy that means the most to you. =)

the sidekick stories 07

from the eyes of my sidekick...I haven't captured some shots in a while. I'm trying to make up for lost times.

Welcome to UCI basketball.
Finding seats and keeping them was...kind of... a bitch.
Sponsored by Chipotle! And everyone knows how I love my Chipotle.
A bit tipsy after the game, are we? This is Frances showing off her little bucket of lollipops.
Cute UO outfit.
This is my Mama playing DDR.
This is Silly Cynthia and her heart-shaped sunglasses.
What a cutie.
The magnificent carousel right outside work.
Meet my 1 year old godson, Gabriel Matthew (aka Gabe)!
He would rather play with cardboard than a new colorful toy.
My soon-to-be new read.
One of the many pairs of sunglasses I possess.
At the park with my family.
My dad's Christmas present to my mom.
A climatic part of my day: reaching 166,000 miles.
Sephora's Orgasm Collection.
Karl's cute wrapping; he wrapped it himself. =)
Cute new sandal alert at UO!
What has the world come to?!
Hannah Montana cereal?!
HSM cereal?!
I'm trying to find a cute design for my bridesmaid dress for my cousin's wedding.
I think I'm going to go for the chic and slim look.

I'm sorry my life hasn't been extremely up to par lately. I just hope these will suffice. I'm just waiting for my Sidekick to mysteriously break within the upcoming weeks so I get a new phone. Oh, wait. My contract is expiring anyways. So either way, Blackberry Curve, here I come!

office space

oooh, ouch. I haven't done one of these in a while. My sincerest apologies. It's just that I've been trying to assimilate myself into the new quarter along with work and just life in general. But! Look no further! An update on the tales from a trivial twenty-something is at hand!

Have you ever had those moments in traffic where things don't just go your way? The only time I can work during the week is from 5 or 6 until close. So you could imagine the traffic I get into when I actually enter the freeway. I'm actually glad that I don't have to be on it for such a long period of time, but even for those first everlasting minutes, I want to blow my brains out. Not only due to the fact that the cars are going negative miles per hour at a time, but because my iTunes consists of new Britney Spears songs and singing along to them may scare the drivers alongside me. It's like that scene from Office Space, where Peter is in traffic at the very beginning of the movie. He's in a lane where the cars are completely stopped and the lane next to him is speeding past. So, what do you do? You switch to the other lane, of course! But once you get in that lane, it stops. And you turn to look at your previous lane, and there it is, zooming past you. You just want to slam your head against the steering wheel and hope there better be some good shopping material you can work with when you get to your job. (Well, in my case, at least.)

As for my bank account, remember how I told myself (and kept reminding myself) to save the money that I had made? Well...that didn't work out so well. I have an amazing wardrobe to choose from...but my bank account has severely suffered the consequences.

I have been addicted to Passion Fruit Green Tea at Cha. The first time I bought a green tea there, it tasted somewhat of roses. There was this pungent odor to it, which was delightful, but not entirely to the sense of taste. It was like a liquefied version of a flower. But either my senses have been less acute lately, or I'm just craving things that were less desirable in the past. I'll go get some today before work. =)

Work. Work has been amazingly slow and it's actually pretty great to have somewhat of a break every now and then. People are less motivated to go shopping because there isn't anyone else to shop for but themselves. We are completely out of gift cards from the holiday season and I feel pretty bummed out when people do come in with the sole purpose to purchase one. I always have to break the news. There was, however, one day, yes one day...where I was stuck with dealing with two, yes two, wardrobe stylists. I was fortunate enough to not deal with one stylist the previous night, but she came back again the next day...boy, that was some intense stuff. But let me introduce the scene to you. So no one is in line; it was a slow day. I was tagging some go-backs when a slicked out Japanese dude with a nice black jacket and a cute UO-ed white girl came up to me and said, "Hi...we have to make some returns." Returns are always fun (NOT!) but they're manageable. I give them one of my charming smiles and ask them what they're returning. They reach down and pull up four, FOUR!, huge UO bags of clothes and shoes. I was flabbergasted. Upon noticing my reaction, the guy said, "I know. This is probably going to be THE longest receipt you have ever seen." So the guy busts out the receipt and sure enough, it was a colossal thing my eyes have ever withheld. So here I am, checking to see if everything was in order, and I look down to realize they're entire purchase was around $2,000. TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS. So as I'm doing this, I eavesdrop a little (I know, but hey, I'm a girl) and find out that they'll be doing a Jack's Mannequin fitting within the coming days. I thought that was pretty cool. I wondered who the clothes they were returning were for, or what celebrity had worn them or tried them on, but I figured they had to sign some confidentiality form. But hey, it's a cool thought. Among the things returned, there were some suspenders that I had wanted to buy earlier but had decided against it. But upon looking at them again, I realized I had to have it; not only because they were cute, but now these suspenders had been worn by some celebrity. I don't know who, but someone. =) I bought them once my shift ended. But anyways, back to the story. With my awesome luck, a line started to form in front of the register. Because of slow-paced days, they only put one person on registers and that lucky person just had to be me. I called in some back-up and one of my managers came to the rescue...in a few lengthy minutes. A lady in line was getting antsy (I don't like those kinds of customers) and she just HAD to speak her mind: "Why is there only one person ringing people up? Are any of you guys even open? I just want to know what's going on!" Thank the Lord that my manager stepped in just in time to hear that and thank Him again that she's somewhat of a bitch when she has to be; she calmly (not really, LOL) yelled out to the person: "She is handling a really large return!" And to sum everything up, after that HUGE return, I got to have my break and trust me, I savored each nanosecond I was free.

Okay, so you'd think that would be the end of a laborous day. No, it wasn't. Once I got back from my break, I thought everything would return back to normal. And don't get me wrong, it did...for a while. My manager comes up to me and said, "You will never guess who just came in right now." Curses, it was them again, wasn't it? What the hell. "The girl from yesterday." Alright, so I remembered her face, I just didn't really know what was really wrong with her until my manager told me that she was a wardrobe stylist for some indie film who had just exchanged a buttload of clothes/shoes/accessories the night before. It's as if these types of people time it perfectly, just right, so that they'd do all of THIS right before closing. Not to mention...her receipt?! Grand total of approximately $4,000. Life is good. (-___-)

I think that basically sums up my life for a while. Roommates have been great. Mama Chu is wonderful because she cooks pasta and other things for us. Planning out next year's apartment/roomie situation. Having a few shots with a few great friends. Going on cinematic adventures (Twilight! Oh yeah, I'm addicted to that now. Sigh. Why does Rob Pattinson as Edward Cullen have to be so gosh darn sexy? I predict this is going to be another "Freddie Prinze Jr. as Zack Siler from She's All That" obsession for me.). I've been taking pictures with my three awesome cameras. And my unknown celebrity suspenders were put to good use as a part of my nerd costume for Daniel's 20th birthday party. (The theme was plaid/flannel, but I did somewhat of a theme-within-the-theme sort of deal. Whatever, Frances did the same thing except she was an Indian.)

the alcocer anecdotes 10

decisions, decisions, decisions.

Episode 10: Japan vs. Europe

m: peekaboo
d: hello
d: whenever you IM me, I get a mental smile
m: how does that feel, a mental smile
d: it feels like a regular smile
d: but i don't smile O:

~*~

d: happy new year
m: right back at'cha
d: 0:-)
m: did you do anything mind-boggling
d: drink!
m: splendid!
d: it did "boggle" my mind
d: technically
d: wah aboot u?
m: eh, snuggled in a blanket and watched phantom of the opera.
d: X:
d: and how was PotO?
m: wonderful as ever
m: I really wanna see it at pantages
m: but I wanted to see it in vegas
d: that sounds like fun @_@
d: soon u will be of vegas age
d: O:
m: I know, I'm planning on saving up for a trip to europe or japan for my 21st bday
m: I wanna drink with the irish men kekeke
d: if u ever went to japan b4 i did i would kill myself
m: hah I really wanna go
d: f u!! go to europe instead imo
d: =/
m: why
d: so i can go to japan first =p
m: nope!
d: =[